Daddy Wasn't There
by screwthevolturiimgoinghome
Summary: Renesmee Swan has been raised by her Mother and her Grandpa Charlie. Nearing 18 she decides it is time to contact her father. Follow Edward, Bella and Renesmee as their family is finally brought together. AH lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- I know I have another story on the go, but this one came to me and I had to get it down. I really hope you enjoy it and don't worry those of you who are reading Consequences I haven't forgotten about it.**

'Ambition should be made of sterner stuff' That's what my Mom has told me my whole life. It's from Julius Caesar, she loves Shakespeare. If I'm honest my Mom's a bit of a geek. She loves to read and not just anything, she loves old school English Literature like the Brontë sisters or Jane Austen. Figure's she'd get a job as a publisher. When I was a kid she tried her best to look after me and keep a job down, unsurprisingly she had a little trouble and we ended up moving in with Grandpa Charlie. I love my Pops. When I was 10, Mom decided it was time to get her ass in gear and get herself a job. She hates accepting anything from anyone and swore to pay Grandpa back for all his help one day. Turns out Mom was a natural, she got to the top of her game in a year and published her own novel, she bought a house, paid Charlie back and set up her own company off of one book. Now she's a bestselling author, only she writes under an alias so no one knows my Mom's this amazing writer. Another thing about my Mom, she doesn't like to be the centre of attention. Most kids worry about tripping on graduation day, I'm worried my Mom will trip on my graduation day.

I want nothing more than for my Mom to be happy. I know that she was in love with my Dad, and hasn't felt the same way about another man since. My Mom doesn't talk about my Dad, I used to ask but she'd shrug me off and tell me we were better off just us. I'm not stupid I could see the hurt in her eyes. She's never gotten over my Dad and I'm pretty sure she never will. Alice once told me that my Dad was an amazing musician, he used to write songs for my Mom all the time when they were dating. They were inseparable. Alice says my Mom and Dad were more in love than Romeo and Juliet. They'd do anything for each other. But one day everything changed and no one knows why except the two of them. He doesn't know I exist, he left before my Mom got a chance to tell him, she tried getting hold of him but he never returned her calls. Sometimes my Mom looks at me and I can see that she misses him, she puts on a brave face 90% of the time, but sometimes she slips and I see her agony. I know I look like him, I have my Moms chocolate brown eyes and my Grandpa Charlie's curly hair, which falls to my waist. My other facial features though, they must be my Dads. I have high cheekbones, a straight nose and full lips. My face is oval, Mom and Charlie have round faces.

I have a part time job at Alice's coffee shop. She insists on coming into work for a couple of hours every day despite the fact she's 7 months pregnant with twins. The coffee shop is her hobby, her husband Jasper owns 9 top restaurants in the area bringing in more than enough to support their family. Mom says Alice has always wanted a big family and Jasper has always been more than willing to give her anything she wants. They already have 3 children, 8 year old Tobias, 7 year old Phoebe and 3 year old Robyn. Jaspers twin sister Rosalie is married to Emmett McCarty an ex- professional football player and another of my Moms childhood friends. They also have an 8 year old boy called Ethan. My Mom and Rosalie will more than likely take it in turns to take care of the shop when Alice pops, it's what they did when Robyn was born.

The school year has just finished, next year I'm graduating. I'm not all that excited about it, Mom wants me to go to college because she never had the chance. I was born the week before her 19th birthday and although she claims she couldn't imagine her life without me and I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. I'm pretty sure she would rather have been able to be a teenager. I'll go though, for her.

I'd decided a long time ago that I wanted to find my father. I haven't told Mom. I'm not really sure how she'll react. I didn't know where to start at first. I hadn't even known his name when I went rooting through my Moms closet. I know it was bad. I shouldn't have done it. Save the lecture I know it's wrong. It took me a while to root through the massive amounts of clothes Alice has forced upon Mom over the years and found I nothing. In amongst her shoes however, there was a box which rattled. I sat on the end of the bed, legs crossed with the box in my lap. I stared at it for a good ten minutes, mentally preparing myself for what I might find. I took a deep breath and gently removed the lid. On the top of the box was an envelope. I opened it and took out the crumpled piece of paper from inside, the letter was written in black in, it's writer had very fancy script, nothing like my messy scrawl. The ink had been smudged in several places, it looked like watermarks, tears.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I miss you baby, I can't sleep without you in my arms. I wish you were here. You are my life, my soul and my one true love. I promise to make you mine the proper way someday, Mrs Isabella Cullen. I like the sound of that._

_Take care of my heart, I've left it with you. _

_Edward _

_xxx_

My fathers name is Edward Cullen.

I tucked the letter back into the envelope and rooted through the box, there was a few ticket stubs, a crystal heart charm, a few more letters and postcards and a picture. I heard the front door open and stuffed the picture in my pocket. I threw the box back into the closet and quickly made my way downstairs.

Lying in bed that night, I got curious and pulled out the picture again. It was my Mom, she looked really young a little younger than me and she looked ecstatic. I had never seen her that happy before. She was leaning into the torso of a tall boy with unruly bronze hair. He was very good looking, chiselled features, high cheekbones, straight nose, full lips. This man was my father. They looked so in love in the picture I couldn't help but wonder what happened to them. I threw my covers back and ran across the room to my laptop. I pulled up Facebook. I silently prayed my father had a better knowledge of technology than my mother and clicked in the search box. I typed Edward Cullen and listened intently for my Mom. When I decided she was asleep I hit enter.

**AN- This is only a short chapter because it's only really an introduction. Let me know what you think. Chapter 2 will probably be ready within the next couple days.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Ladies and gentlemen.. I introduce you to Edward Cullen. **

**EPOV**

I headed for the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, tripping over pretty much everything I owned on the way out of my bedroom. My apartment really was a mess. There was dirty crockery on almost every surface, I can't remember the last time I used a vacuum and sheet music was scattered everywhere. The only clean space was my piano. I had somehow managed to squeeze in my grandfathers grand piano when I moved in. It was a truly exquisite instrument and my most prized possession.

There were hundreds of painful memories surrounding this piano, after 17 years I still couldn't think of the memories of her as being happy. I missed her more than I thought humanly possible. Every time I sat at the piano I had to tell myself it was for the best, she was better off without me. I couldn't hurt her any more. It didn't stop me from wondering though, what was she doing with her life. Did she still live in Forks? I felt a twang of jealousy as I wondered whether she had a family, I had always promised Bella that I would make her mine officially one day and that we'd live in a big old fashioned house and have lots of children. I told myself as long as she was happy it didn't matter. Bella's needs would always come first.

I hadn't been with anyone since. I couldn't bring myself to even try. My parents had tried to set me up with their friends daughters organising dates for us but I never showed. I know it wasn't very nice and I always felt guilty afterwards, but I'd get in the car ready to go and every time it would feel like I was betraying Bella. If I'm honest I've thrown myself into my music for the last 17 years, writing jingles and being an all round sell out. I made a decent amount of money for it, but I had no reason to spend it. I bought food and alcohol, lots of alcohol. It wasn't as if I had to pay rent, my parents owned the entire block of apartments.

I threw on some sweatpants and an old hoody and went to check my mail.

"Morning Edward." Jessica Stanley was walking up the stairs towards me, elevators weren't my thing, I always felt like a lazy ass using an elevator. Unfortunately Jessica had cottoned onto this fact and spent most mornings waiting on the staircases for my early morning trip to collect the mail.

"Morning." I smiled politely at her but quickly averted my eyes I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. She fluttered her eyelashes at me, I thought I was going to vomit in my mouth. I really wasn't turned on by overly confident women, especially when they made vile suggestions which I'm pretty sure Jessica was thinking about doing.

"Wow, you cut your hair. Looks really good." She went to run her hands through my freshly cut hair. I dodged out of her way, made my excuses and ran down the rest of the staircase. In all honesty I hated my hair short, I'd taken a set of clippers to it one day after a particularly harsh session at the gym. I'd gotten sick of the way it stuck to my forehead when I got sweaty. I much preferred it long though, I couldn't run my hands through short hair, it didn't calm me down.

The only mail I received was a cheque for $1000 for a jingle I'd done, it had taken me a day and I wasn't particularly impressed by my efforts but they obviously were, I stuffed the cheque in my pocket and went about my daily routine. I jogged around my block, stopping once to talk to my fathers colleague Liam, his wife Siobhan was due to have a baby this week and I wanted to congratulate him before I forgot. I returned to my apartment and jumped in the shower, after throwing on a random assortment of clothes I cooked myself some breakfast. Around 12 o'clock I went to the florist for some flowers, I was dining with my parents this evening and I always took my mother flowers. On the way back I stopped at the liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack Daniels for my father, it was his guilty pleasure. I spent my afternoon messing about with a new theme tune for another crappy product.

5 o'clock rolled around and I threw on the only clean shirt I own, with some jeans, my trusty blazer and a pair of flip flops getting into my Volvo I noticed Jessica leaving the complex with a greasy blonde guy. I was glad she'd found someone, perhaps she'd leave me alone. Something inside told me that would never happen.

Pulling up outside my parents house I noticed my father had been driving the porsche. I shook my head, old man couldn't get enough of his porsche. He shouldn't even be working, the man was 65 and still insisted on working every day at the hospital.

"Edward!" My Mom ran out the front door to greet me, her caramel coloured curls bouncing on her shoulders as my father smiled at us from the doorstep. My Mom was a few years older than my father but she didn't look a day over 35, he on the other hand didn't have a single blonde hair left on his head. His hair was pure white now, and although his face showed signs of wear, he still had that sparkle in his eye, my parents were truly happy together it was evident in their faces. I kissed my Moms cheek as she threw her arms around me.

"Hi Mom, Dad." My father casually threw a wave in my direction, an outsider would see it as him shrugging me off, not bothered about my presence. Truth was My father and I were really very close, we just never needed verbal communication.

My Mother had prepared a fabulous three course meal for us that evening. She seated me and my father at the table with a glass of Austrian white wine and shortly joined us with our starter, chicken, roasted garlic & sweetbread terrine, heritage tomato salsa and sourdough. It was incredible, the best terrine I had ever tasted. I hadn't eaten good food in a long time. I mostly survived on takeaways so when she served the main course my stomach started doing celebratory back flips. Grilled organic salmon steak, crushed new potatoes, prawn butter and fresh vegetables. Salmon was my favourite, especially the way my mother served it. After ensuring there was nothing left on my plate, I rested against the back of the chair and unbuttoned my pants, as did my father. My mother refused our help in clearing the table and returned 20 minutes later with her ultimate dessert. I wondered if my stomach could take any more but then I realised there was always room for my Moms chocolate pudding with home-made peanut butter and jelly ice cream. I made a pact to come for dinner much more often, especially if Mom was gonna prepare food like this every time I came.

Returning to my apartment was disappointing. I wish we still lived in the house in Forks, my parents were so much happier there after all. My mother had decided they were moving to Chicago a week after I started college here. It had been strange at first, not returning to the house I grew up in every Summer, but instead to this strange house that I had no memories in. I threw myself hard against my bed and instantly wished I hadn't. I could see the dust floating in the air around me, pushed out of the mattress by my impact with it. It was disgusting, I couldn't remember the last time I changed my bed. I pulled my laptop open and went straight to Facebook. I had recently created a 'page' and wanted to check my comments. I had very few friends, my father, Liam, Siobhan, Jessica and the guy who lived down the corridor from me, Tyler.

I was immediately interested in catching up on some people I hadn't heard from since I left Forks. I was pretty sure they all still lived there. I began typing into the search bar.

Alice Brandon. Only the name the search retrieved was Alice Whitlock, I wasn't surprised in the slightest, Jasper had been completely and utterly besotted with her through the whole of high school. I looked through Alice's pictures. She didn't look much different and nor did Jasper, they obviously looked older and the hairstyles were different. They also appeared to have children, a boy and two little girls and judging by her most recent photo's she was pregnant again. I smiled. Alice and Jasper were happy and they seemed to have everything each of them had wanted.

Emmett McCarty. Married to Rosalie McCarty. No Way! Emmett was married to smoking hot Rosalie Hale!? I always thought it had been just about the sex with them when they were younger. They also had a little boy. Did everyone but me get their happy ending?

My fingers paused above the letters, this was the real reason I'd started searching for people.

Bella Swan. No results found. Dammit. I was an idiot for thinking she would even bother making a page. Bella hated technology, she always said the internet stole the world's passion for books.

I was just about to shut down my laptop when I received a friend request.

Renesmee Swan. Swan? I couldn't see her picture properly, her page had privacy restrictions. Her last name was Swan though? I could vaguely make out long brown curly hair. Similar to a mahogany colour I was very fond of. I had one new message in my inbox, it was from Renesmee.

_Hi there,_

_I'm pretty sure you have absolutely no idea who I am but I think you know my Mom, Bella Swan? I'd really appreciate it, if you could get in touch with me. _

_Nessie._

Bella Swan was her mother? My Bella Swan? How old was this girl?

**AN- OK let me know what you think. I'm still introducing characters and what not but rest assured. I'll get to explaining what happened between Edward and Bella soon enough. Please review. It makes me happy. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- OK, so chapter 3 was ready a little earlier than expected. Say hello to Bella. Enjoy.**

**BPOV**

I have a beautiful daughter, am surrounded by the best friends anyone could ever ask for and Charlie, well Charlie was a wonderful father to me. He always knew exactly what I needed and he absolutely adored Renesmee. So why couldn't I just be happy? Watching my friends relationships hurt me a little. We were nearing 40, both Alice and Rosalie had married their high school sweethearts and they were just as in love as they were back then. If not more. I couldn't help but be a little jealous. I knew there was only ever one man for me, but our time had been and gone.

I was dreading Nessies graduation day, I know it was a whole year away but that meant I only had her for another year. My baby was going to college. Don't get me wrong I wanted her to go, in fact it was me who persuaded her she should get as far away from Forks as possible. This place wasn't for her. My daughter needed to spread her wings and she couldn't do that in this small town so rife with gossip. Ness got her stubbornness from me, lucky we never argue really I couldn't see either of us backing down. Its taken a while but I think she's finally coming around.

I wrote my first book after my mother Renee passed away. Nessie was 9 years old and she didn't really understand the extent of Mom's illness. My Mom had been misdiagnosed, the doctors told her she didn't have breast cancer and she went untreated. It took about a year for the cancer to spread, slowly but surely destroying each and every inch of her insides. She never let me or Ness see just how much she was suffering and when she was finally taken seriously by her doctor, months before her death she refused treatment. She said that a little girl should never have to see her grandmother with no hair. It was her time and she was ready to leave. My father had wanted to sue, but Renee had made it very clear in her will that it wasn't what she wanted. She had left a letter for me to read at the funeral. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do and I bawled my through it. It was something Renee wanted and I would not see her wishes go overlooked.

_I'm not sorry that I'm leaving this world, I'm only sorry that I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to everyone I wanted to. There comes a time when you have to be strong, stronger than you ever thought possible and stop fighting, everyone has a path to fulfil in life. I just happened to complete mine early. Remember me but don't miss me, I haven't gone far and I will see every one of you again someday. Charlie, stop eating so much steak I don't want to see you that soon. Bella take care of that beautiful little girl, she's an angel, reminds me so much of you as a child. You're going to do great things Bella_.

Mom's words made everyone cry, especially me. I couldn't stop the tears, it was pretty difficult to see through the tears and I made several mistakes.

I used to find it easy to write, I'd sit at a table in Alice's shop with a pad and pen and the words would fall out of my head onto the paper. I always wrote on paper, the words seemed real on paper. On a screen it was like they were just floating in a white space in front of me, no real order, no final placement. I've been struggling to write the last few chapters of my latest book for a while now, OK I admit I've spent a lot of time in front of the TV watching re runs of The Gilmore Girls and eating pop tarts. I was determined to finish this book though and no amount of writers block was going to stop me. Perhaps the hero was supposed to die tragically on his way to sweep the poor maiden off her feet. That's the way I kept writing it. The pen wouldn't make nice words, only ones that would leave the nobleman dead and away from his beautiful servant girl. It wasn't how I wanted the book to end. I only do happily ever afters.

I picked Tobias, Ethan and Phoebe from school and headed home with them. That was the routine most days, I'd pick the kids up from school, Jasper would swing past Robyn's daycare on the way back from one of his restaurants. Rosalie and Emmett would close the bar for a few hours and we'd meet at my house. Renesmee would watch the kids while we chatted. Often the men found other things to occupy themselves with and it would just be Alice, Rosalie and myself. It was the best part of my day. I glanced in the rear view mirror to find Ethan beaming at me. He was the spitting image of Emmett, dark curly hair, bright blue eyes and dimples. Only he wasn't big like Emmett he was lean and tall like Rosalie. Tobias was just like his dad, blonde, thin and charming. The little guy was always sweet talking old ladies, he liked to call people 'Ma'am' or 'Darlin' Alice found it hilarious especially when he called Emmett Sir. Phoebe had jet black hair, it was long and poker straight, she was petite even for a child and refused to let anyone else dress her. Phoebe chose all of her own clothes and often tried to make me change my outfit. Just like Alice. Robyn on the other hand was a perfect mix of the two, she was a cheeky little tyke, with her sparkling eyes and chubby cheeks. Her hair was a mousy colour and she was an average height for her age. She'd picked up her fathers accent more than her siblings and spoke with a little Southern drawl but a very naughty giggle almost identical to Alices. Robyn never stopped talking, she often recited entire Disney songs to me. I'm glad Jasper picked her up every day because as much as I love her I'm not sure I could handle 'A Whole New World' on a daily basis.

"Bella?" Phoebe piped up from the seat next to me. I shot her a quick glance.

"Brown is not your colour." She scanned my brown sweater an expression of utmost disgust on her face.

"I really like this sweater, its comfy." I knew it would never work, I knew as soon as I took it off Phoebe and Alice would burn it.

"It doesn't like you Bella. You should wear more blue, yeah definitely blue, but pretty stuff. Not sweaters and jeans." she began listing everything I should wear that was already in my wardrobe. I tried to drown her out, it was better to let her ramble than to even bother trying to shush her. We pulled into the driveway and the boys ran into the house before I'd even stopped the car.

"Bella!" Robyn toddled out of the house and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Ness-Me says I can sing to you as much as I want today."

"Oh did she?" I shot an evil look at my 17 year old daughter standing in the doorway of our house, she had almost been knocked off her feet by two destructive 8 year olds and was trying to regain her balance.

"Renesmee, where is my daddy?" Phoebe gracefully shifted herself out of my car and danced towards us.

"Daddy went to help Emmett buy some tools. Are you going to help me in the kitchen?" Renesmee reached for Phoebes hand and she took it.

"Mommy gets angry when Daddy does home improvements. She says if Emmett give him any more tips she's gonna cut off his .."

"Phoebe!" Nessie jumped in before the real damage was done. " Lets go you can help me too." I tried to stifle a giggle as I walked into my living room. I love my house, its perfect. My living room had a deep oak floor with 3 beige walls. A big squishy leather sofa was positioned in the exact centre of the room, a thick burgundy rug in front of it and a modestly sized flat screen on the 4th wall, made from big grey stones. There were 2 antique lamps in the room and various ornaments and photographs. I was even more proud of my kitchen. It had proper terracotta floor tiles and emerald green, marble worktops. My cooker was my pride and joy, I had made some mean dishes in that. Not to brag but my lasagne was amazing, Jasper repeatedly asked me for the recipe but I was having none of it. I watched as Renesmee got Phoebe and Robyn to help her make cookies, even though none of the dough ended up getting baked, it went in our stomachs.

Alice and Rosalie walked in to find Renesmee and I being tickled senseless on the kitchen floor by all the kids.

"Seriously.. Alice.. Rose.. get .. your.. kids... off.. me.. I.. gotta.. pee." I was a sucker for tickles, I could never fight the laughter and they'd had us pinned on the floor for about 10 minutes now. Alice and Rose scooped the kids off of us and I made a dash for the bathroom.

It took Alice several attempts to get onto the breakfast bar stool. She really was huge at the moment. For such a petite person, she had big pregnancies anyway but with twins. It honestly looked as if she'd swallowed a space hopper. Alice's hair had always been long in high school, since becoming a mother however she'd cut it short and used a little wax each morning to spike it up a bit. It was very Alice yet very practical, she was distinctive. Rosalie finally noticed Alice's struggling and hauled her onto the seat. Of course Rose had no trouble, her legs went on forever and she was wearing heels. She had kept her long blonde hair, though today it was tucked up into a bun, she worked the bar during the lunch shift. Rosalie never worked with her hair down. I stared at my best friends for a little longer, they bickered over who would eat the last Reece's cup.

There was only one person missing in my life and I was pretty sure I'd never see him again.

**AN- Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know, I love getting reviews, they make my day and I'm almost always inspired to write the next chapter when I get reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN – Here goes chapter 4. When Edward Cullen gives you piano's ... make lemonade. Or something along those lines.**

**EPOV**

About a week had passed since the evening with my parents, we had another one planned for this Saturday. Right now though I really needed to write this fucking jingle. I sat at my grandfathers piano and ran my fingers along the keys. I loved the feel of the cool ivory against my fingertips.

Bella and I first made love on her 16th birthday, we'd had a bit of a get together at my house. My parents had gone to visit my fathers sisters in Alaska and Bella's parents had allowed her to stay over the weekend. We'd had a sort of couples evening the first night, Bella's birthday. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had picked up all sorts of candy and ice creams and we sat around having a movie night. After everyone had left I pulled Bella into my chest and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. I inhaled the scent of her strawberry shampoo and growled. I felt her shaking slightly into my chest and pulled back to look at her face. She was laughing uncontrollably and I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Did you just growl?" She continued to laugh at me and I was getting a little embarrassed to say the least, I looked away from her. I didn't want her to see I was embarrassed. That's when I felt her delicate little hands on my face. She pulled me back to look at her, a determined look on her face. Her lips crashed against mine, a little more forceful than I'd ever expected from Bella. Her hands found their way into my hair. I returned the kiss, more gently. I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop myself from bending Bella over the sofa and taking her from behind if I lost my cool She was such a temptation. Bella sucked my lower lip between hers and nibbled at it softly. I was seeing a whole new side to Bella right now but I had to stay reserved. I wasn't going to hurt her by letting my animalistic side take over. I knew that wasn't what she wanted. She'd never pushed for anything like this before. Her hips ground into mine as she released one hand from my hair and tugged at the bottom of my shirt. I had to stop this now before I got carried away. My resolve was already slipping. I pulled away slowly, returning Bella's hands to her side. The look on her face broke my heart. Her eyes pleaded with me and for a moment I felt another growl rise in my chest. She whimpered as her body lost contact with mine. I felt a pang of guilt. I didn't want to upset her, I promised I never would.

"Don't .. don't you want me?" I could see her eyes begin to well up as she stuttered her question. Was she stupid, of course I wanted her, every inch of her. I dreamt of the moment we confirmed our love for each other every night. It wasn't like this though. It was romantic and beautiful, not 5 minutes of poking and prodding by two hormone riddled teenagers. I kissed her nose gently.

"Baby, of course I want you. I love you. I just don't want it like this. I want it to be special." I sighed as I watched the tears roll down her creamy white cheeks. I brought her lips to mine and tenderly, reassuringly, kissed her. Bella of course picked up where she left off. I wasn't sure I could deny her. If this was what she wanted, she'd get it. I stopped fighting and allowed her to lift my shirt over my head. We only broke contact for a few seconds, but those few seconds felt like an eternity. She ran her hands down my chest and paused when she landed at my belt buckle. I smiled at her encouragingly and she undid it, my jeans dropping to my ankles. I stepped out of them slowly and turned Bella away from me. He unbuttoned her shirt as I kissed the back of her neck. She smelt the best here, where the scent of the shampoo mixed with the natural scent of Bella's skin. Before I knew it Bella was trying to turn to me again. I noticed she was only wearing a pair of white cotton boy shorts. As she turned I pulled my head back to take in every inch of her. I think I actually stopped breathing for a second. She was truly beautiful, not a single imperfection on her incredibly soft skin. She smiled at me wickedly and pushed me toward the piano. I wasn't sure where she was headed with this one but I would probably like it. A lot. I slipped my hand down her body, stopping as I reached the waistband of her panties. I looked into her chocolate brown eyes, I could see the need in them. I needed her reassurance that what I was about to do was OK. She bit her lip and nodded encouragingly. That was seriously sexy. I wasn't really sure how to go about this next bit, I stroked her folds gently through her panties, she seemed to like that. I pulled the crotch aside and fumbled around in between her folds, I found her clit and rubbed it gently. I looked up at Bella's face, I seemed to be doing something right, she had her eyes closed and her head lolled backwards unsupported by her neck. I tested the waters so to speak and slid one finger inside her. Bella moaned quietly as I made contact with her soft interior walls. She really was very moist now, I slipped a second finger in and tried to contain myself as she cried out. I pumped my fingers in and out of her gently, trying to gauge the speed according to her reaction.

"Edward. Now." She whispered into my ear. Her voice was husky and her breathing ragged. I gently removed my fingers from her and brought my lips to hers. I couldn't control my need for her as I tore off her underwear. She giggled as she threw her legs around my waist, pulling my boxers down in the process. I could feel her warmth at the tip of my erection, which was slowly becoming painful from lack of relief.

"Under the piano." My mouth dropped open as I realised what Bella said. She wanted to have sex under my piano! The only think I loved nearly as much as I loved Bella. I knew I needed to have her then. I let her down and she scurried under the piano, beckoning me to follow. I fumbled in my jeans pockets trying to reach into my wallet. My fingers were shaking as I found the little foil square tucked between my Amex and my drivers licence. I carefully tore it open and rolled it down my shaft and joined Bella under the piano. With a fair amount of difficulty I might add, Bella easily fitted, but my broad shoulders hindered me slightly. I clambered on top of her and positioned myself between her legs. We looked at each other unsure of what to do next. Bella kissed me reassuringly. This was what she wanted.

"Bells, this is going to hurt. Are you sure?.. We don't have .." I didn't want her to feel she had to have sex with me, but god damn I'd need some kind of relief after this.

"Edward, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you." I kissed her forehead as I plunged into her as gently as I could. I felt her writhe underneath me and her little gasp. I'd hurt her. I stopped moving and looked at her face. She was beaming up at me. I kissed her lips tenderly.

"I'm sorry." She wriggled her hips under me again, this time giggling. This girl was going to be the death of me. I thrust in and out of her gently. This was a completely new sensation to me. She felt so warm around my dick, and there was very little space for me. She called out my name and it was all too much for me. I came undone within moments of entering her. We lay cuddled under the piano for a little while. I was slightly ashamed of myself. I hadn't even lasted 10 minutes.

That night only made my love for Bella stronger. I rested my head against the top of the piano and sighed. I made my way over to my laptop. I had been avoiding responding to Renesmee all week. I felt bad for using the kid to find out things about Bella, but I needed to know if she was happy.

**AN- OK hope you enjoyed that little flashback. Let me know what you think ... reviews are almost as good as sex under a piano with Edward Cullen.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- Here's chapter 5 I promised you I'd get around to the whole reason for him leaving. Oh and the issue of Edward being too stupid to realise Renesmee is his daughter, don't worry I know. It's all part of the master plan lol. Anyway enjoy!**

**BPOV**

There are 52 weeks in every year, 7 days in a week and 24 hours to a day. It had been 18 years today since the last time I saw Edward Cullen. I was unknowingly 2 months pregnant at the time. I know exactly why he left. I remember it as if it was yesterday.

I woke up early that morning, unable to sleep properly the night before. I rubbed my eyes and threw back the covers. I was still tired but I knew I'd never be able to drop off again, especially with the tiny sliver of light coming from the edge of my curtains, hitting me right between the eyes. I swung my legs out the side of the bed and gasped as my feet touched the cold floor, Charlie hated leaving the heating on during the night. He had trouble sleeping in the warmth.

I smiled as I looked at the silver framed picture on my bedside table. My boyfriend truly was the most gorgeous man in the entire world and for some reason he deemed me worthy, I wasn't going to complain. He was spending today buying all his bedding and stuff for college. Edward and I were both going to Dartmouth in the fall, we weren't sharing a dorm though. He wasn't a big believer in co-habitation, some crap about doing things the proper way. He was staying tonight though, Charlie was away on a fishing weekend and didn't want me to be alone. Charlie had initially disliked Edward, until of course he was introduced to Carlisle and Esme, Edwards parents. They were the nicest, most genuine, loving people in the entire world and of course they absolutely adored their son, something we had in common. Esme was an amazing cook, she could make a meal out of absolutely anything and had actually given me a lot of cooking lessons. I was constantly trying to find ways of getting Charlie off the steak and Esme was up to the challenge. Carlisle was a wonderful doctor, hospitals across the country were crying out for him to be their chief of medicine but he never accepted. He wanted to be able to spend time with his family. Never wanted his work to consume his life.

I drew myself a bubble bath, having pretty much an entire day to myself was going to be pretty boring unless I found something to occupy the time with. I spent as long as possible in the tub, only getting out when my teeth began to chatter. I got ready quickly after that, needing to feel warm again. By the time I finished my breakfast of bacon and eggs, lots of eggs it was nearly 11am. Time flew pretty quickly when I was stuffing my face just recently. I spent the rest of the day doing laundry and watching rubbish TV. I nearly jumped out of my skin when there was a tap at the door at exactly 3pm. We'd had a few silly arguments that week, but nothing serious. Simple bickering that was to be expected when you spent pretty much all your time with the same person. I was very happy to see him nonetheless, we'd both been pretty stressed about the idea of going to college and tonight we were just going to relax. I opened the door, pulling it a little too hard and jumped up to hug my amazing boyfriend. He kissed my forehead lovingly before carrying me to the sofa. He attacked my face with little soft kisses, his stubble tickling my cheek. He paused and looked at me, his face pained for a few seconds, before he regained his composure.

"Mmm Bella, you know you look incredibly sexy in my baseball shirt." I felt the vibrations of his words on my skin as his mouth moved to my neck, my weak spot. Edward knew I was always rendered absolutely powerless whenever his lips were anywhere near my neck. I let out a moan as I felt his teeth graze my collarbone. His skin was cold today and he left a trail of goosebumps as his fingers traced my jawline. Forks tended to make people cold, though Edward was never normally affected, he seemed completely unaffected by weather. I felt his free hand begin to tug on the bottom of my shirt.

"Edward, how many times do I have to make it clear Charlies couch is off limits?" My breathing was slightly heavier as I slapped his hands away. The boy did things to my body I'd never be able to explain. He flashed a mischievous smile and I suddenly seemed to be floating in the air. Edward had thrown me over his shoulder and was heading for the stairs. I giggled as he slapped my ass and shouted 'Yee Haa."

Everything happened pretty quickly after that. I felt Edward pause slightly and felt him lean to the left underneath me. I thought he was mucking around. My head hit the corner of the counter top before I noticed we were falling. I could barely breathe as I realised what was happening. Edward was having a hypo. I could feel the blood trickling down my scalp as I fumbled through his pockets for his car keys. I felt the dizziness hit me as I stood to run to his car. I felt the bile rising in my throat as I found the little black pouch in his glove compartment. I needed to concentrate, remembering what the nurse had said.

"_Bella you're going to need to be calm when preparing the glucagon, it's rather tricky and panicking only makes it harder._

I took a deep breath, willing myself to deal with things better as I began to mix the powder with the sterile fluid. Edward needed my help right now. I should have noticed the signs when he came in. His skin was freezing despite the face he was wearing a thick sweater and it really wasn't all too cold today. I should have thought more of the sweaty sheen across his forehead. Edward was diabetic, insulin dependant. I held my breath as I pushed the needle into his skin. I'd never had to give him a shot before but I'd insisted on going to his hospital appointments in preparation for an incident like today. I watched as Edward came around and thrust a pack of Oreos at him.

"Why didn't you eat Edward!? Are you stupid. You scared the fucking shit out of me!" I barely ever swore but I was beginning to feel a second wave of panic and my head was pounding. His pale face was riddled with guilt as he rapidly stuffed the cookies into his mouth. My hand found its way to the sore spot on the back of my head, it was wet and sticky. I brought my hand back around to inspect the damage. When I saw the amount of blood on my hand, dripping from my fingers I began to wretch.

Edward drove me to hospital, I needed seven stitches in the gash in my head and I was definitely taking a sheet of sandpaper to the corners of our kitchen counter tops. Riding in the car home was awkward. I was still pretty pissed at Edward, I'd been seriously worried about him. It was scary, It was more difficult than I'd expected to concentrate on the task and not let the fact my boyfriend was lying unconscious on my kitchen floor worry me. I felt the tears falling silently down my cheek. Edward glanced at me quickly as we entered my house.

"Bella, I think it's best I go home tonight." His voice was flat and emotionless, there was something more behind his words, he wasn't saying this simply because I was angry.

"No you said you'd stay. I want you to stay." Try as I might I couldn't help my voice from cracking.

"Bella I'm not going to Dartmouth." I felt a fresh wave of nausea hit me as I realised what he was saying.

"Edward? What? I don't.. Why?" It was hard to get my words out as the panic started choking me.

"I got a better offer. I'm leaving tomorrow. I called my Dad and asked him to make the arrangements while you were seeing the doctor." He almost sounded bored. I took a deep breath and choked out the words I never wanted to have to say.

"Are you .. breaking up with me?" I tried to look into the face of the boy I loved but he wasn't there. This face was cold and unfeeling.

"Yes, it's better this way." A thousand pins were stabbed into my heart simultaneously and I couldn't silence my sobs. I shook my head at him, not understanding. He sighed before brushing an imaginary piece of fluff from his sweater.

"Trust me Bella."

"I don't understand."

"It's over Bella. Finished, done. How many more words do you need to hear to make it sink in."

"This is because I hit my head isn't it." When he didn't answer I felt the anger bubble inside of me. "Fucking look at me Edward!" His face turned slowly to face mine, his eyes weren't right. He was hiding something.

"Yes Bella, you could have easily died tonight and I won't be responsible for that. You made me see the light."

"You can't help your condition." It came out sounding pleading rather than like a statement. I was one of those girls that begged her boyfriend not to break up with her. I used to laugh at girls like that.

"Exactly." I stared at him confused. "Don't you see Bella, it's unpredictable, I can't be positive it won't slip again. Especially with college, I'll be busy. Might not always have time to remember to eat. I'm not going to be responsible for your pain again." I couldn't believe my ears. He was making a huge deal out of nothing. I almost wanted to laugh, I didn't nearly die. I hit my head and there was a lot of blood, big deal. I'm an easy bleeder. I couldn't deal with his ridiculous obsession with me not hurting myself. I wanted to sleep now. He could wait until tomorrow. I was getting queasy again and throwing up on Charles new rug was not an option.

"Get out." I gritted my teeth and pointed to the door. He looked slightly remorseful as he bid me goodbye and made his way back to his car. I curled up on the sofa and closed my eyes.

That was the last time I saw Edward. He really did leave the next day and I never saw or heard from him again, Carlisle and Esme moved a few weeks after, around the same time I realised I was pregnant. I tried calling a million and one times but I never got an answer. I left voice mails and sent letters but it was no use. I lost the most important man in my life minus Charlie and he was never coming back. He would never know his daughter and she would never know him. I was pretty adamant about that.

**AN – There you go, hope that cleared everything up. I'm sorry if my diabetes knowledge is a little off but please forgive me? Anyway let me know what you thought. **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN - Wow, I didn't realise how long it's been since my last update I'm sorry!! I hope the next few make it up to you.**

**RPOV**

"I asked for a skinny cappuccino, no sprinkles and easy on the froth. Are you completely incompetent or are you just dumb?" I'd had it with this bitch. Not only had she changed her order 10 times, she'd had a go at me for taking too long to make her coffee and now she was claiming I got her order wrong.

"Actually I have your order right here madam. You asked for a large cappuccino, a blueberry muffin and I quote 'make it snappy.'" I stared her straight in the eyes. "Now if that's everything, I'm gonna get back to making coffees for these nice people over here." I gestured towards the queue of people smirking at our interaction. She narrowed her tiny little eyes at me.

"I don't like you're attitude." Her words were obviously supposed to have acid to them, but she wasn't scaring me.

"And I don't like your nasty ass patent stilettos but I'm not making a fuss about it am I?" She flared her nostrils at me. Her huge head of frizzy ginger hair sticking out at all angles. I wanted to punch her, I was in the mood. So my comment about her shoes was pretty immature but Alice would have been proud of my attention to detail.

"Your manager will be hearing about this." The tap tap of her cheap shoes against the oak floor of the shop echoed as she made her way to the far corner with her coffee. I'm sure Alice would hear about it and I'm pretty sure she'd congratulate me for holding me own. Hey she's lucky Rosalie didn't serve her, girl probably would have laid her out. Alice had 2 month old twins to look after now. Cody and Blaine were the best behaved babies ever. They slept all the time. They cried quietly and their crap really didn't smell too bad. Either that or Alice made motherhood look incredibly easy.

I flopped into the sofa letting out a tremendous huff when I got home. I'd had a pretty stressful day. After the red headed ho there was a woman with loads of uncontrollable kids that ran around the shop screaming and upsetting our other customers. I felt pretty bad for the woman, she looked as if she was on the verge of tears but still, her children were the spawn of Satan. Then I made a complete fool of myself in front of a group of guys I recognised from the reservation down in La Push. They were seriously hot as well, with their rippling muscles and flawless copper skin. One in particular I remember from the days when Charlie took me to see his friend Billy. He was probably the biggest of the 3, his long black hair reaching his shoulders. I tripped over a rug sending a chocolate-banana frappé flying across the room. The big guy, Jacob, had helped me clean up. He had a cheeky smile that made me a little weak at the knees. Sometimes inheriting the klutz gene from my Mom wasn't a bad thing, he asked for my number.

"Shit kid, you look wiped." Emmett stood in the doorway to the kitchen a sympathetic look on his face. I sighed and nodded in response. "Seriously Ness, go relax, see your friends or something. I'll look after the nippers today. Go on have some fun." He ushered me up the stairs demanding I freshen up first.

It had been nearly 4 months since I first contacted Edward Cullen and we'd been talking pretty much every day. Swapping numbers and everything, we talked mostly about happening in Forks and my Mom. She was brought into every conversation, it was completely obvious he'd never gotten over my Mom. It was pretty weird how much I talked to Edward, considering he was oblivious to the fact he's my Dad, I'd told a few little white lies and made out I was a year younger than I actually am. In all honesty though I wasn't sorry. If I was going to get to know the guy, I didn't want him trying to force a father daughter relationship just because he thought he had to. I wanted to develop a natural relationship with him. Get to know him before I sprung the fact he played a part in my conception on him. I planned to give him all the facts at the weekend. He was coming to Forks. I was going to meet him and somehow avoid everyone else I know that weekend, if my Mom found out she'd throw the ultimate shit fit.

I jumped in the shower and washed away the day, I hate the smell off coffee and it was all over me. I was met by a small child rummaging through my wardrobe.

"Nessie, where is the blue tunic dress we bought last week." Phoebe ran her hands through her long black hair in frustration. I wasn't sure why she was dressing me, it's not like I had plans to go anywhere special.

"Renesmee Carlie Swan! Why are your new clothes still in the bags? They will be wrinkled up now!" She found the blue dress and layed it out on my bed. "Are you going to stand there all day? Or are you going on your date?" She produced a pair of leggings and stared at me. I was confused, did she think I was going on a date?

She sighed. " Jacob text you, he invited you to a barbecue on the beach tonight. I said you'd be there at 7. Hurry up, Mommy's on her way to make you perdy."

Jacob? From the shop? The ridiculously hot boy with the huge muscles and tight t shirt. I had to stop myself form doing a happy dance and concentrated on the 7 year old girl, glaring at me from the end of my bed. She gestured at the clothes before pointing to a pair of black gladiator sandals and left the room, closing the door behind them. I'd come to understand that motion over the years as an indication I needed to get dressed. I pulled on some underwear before tackling the leggings. I had to remember to thank Phoebe for picking out something comfortable. I'm sure Alice would have put me in a miniskirt and heels. As I pulled the dress over my head my bedroom door flung open.

"Jesus Alice, why don't you ever knock. I could have been naked." I fussed with the dress trying to flatten my boobs, they weren't exactly small and it drew attention to me. Attention I didn't want.

"Because I knew you weren't. Sit." I sat on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes like a good Barbie. Alice began rubbing foundation over my cheeks.

"So you have a date with a La Push boy huh? You're so much like your Mom. She spent a lot of time down there when she was your age."

"Alice?" I thought there was no better time to ask than the present.

"Does my Mom ever talk about my Dad, like to you and Rose?" Alice paused, her rapid strokes of the blusher brush across my cheeks halting for a few seconds, I opened my eyes and looked up at her. She was smiling at me.

"Oh Nessie, you're gonna be in so much trouble." She was practically fighting back giggles.

"What, what did I do?" I gave my best innocent face. She couldn't know what I was up to.

"I'm not stupid Ness, I know you know his name and I know that you've been talking to him." She began attacking my eyes with a mascara brush. I decided to just stay silent.

"I think you're doing the right thing you know." She knelt down and looked at me seriously. "I never knew my Dad and now its too late. I know what it's like to feel as if a part of your identity is missing."

"I'm not doing it for me." I bit my lip. She nodded and pulled my face up to look at her.

"She's not whole without him Ness and I think she knows that."

"He always asks about her. I think he still loves her." I looked away before making my final confession. "He thinks I'm 16."

She smiled at me and began assaulting my curls with her fingers. "You're doing the right thing."

I left for La Push quickly, throwing my Mom a half assed wave as I ran out the front door and jumped in my baby. For my 17th birthday my Pops bought me a canary yellow 1965 Corvair Corsa. She's beautiful, I should probably take more care of her inside though, it was full of soda cups and my music collection was scattered everywhere. I pulled up in a little parking lot by the beach and turned off the engine. I sat in the car for a few minutes. I'd never actually been on a date, if that's what this was. I was a newbie. I got out and took in my surroundings. I love La Push, so there wasn't much colour here on First Beach, it was a little grey but I thought it was pretty. Turning the key in the lock I heard a reasonably familiar voice.

"Jesus Fucking Christ!! Is she yours?" Jacob walked over to me, his jaw dropped open and his hair trailing in the wind behind him. I smiled and nodded.

"You've had a recent paint job right?" he ran his hands over the hood of my car in appreciation. I didn't blame him.

"Yup." It was a little scratched. "Um as amazing as my car is, don't we have a barbecue to attend?"

He winked at me before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking towards the beach. Walking up to a group of people around a driftwood fire I noticed the other guys Jacob had been with in the shop. They all looked similar with their jet black hair and copper coloured skin. Jacob was an exception though, he had darker eyes and a bigger smile. There was a touch more youthfulness in his features and his eyebrows were a lot less like caterpillars. I wanted to sigh everytime I looked at him. There were a few girls in the group, they were more varied in appearance, one tall and bony with shoulder length hair, another was petite with a short pixie cut and the third was average heigh with curves in all the right places, her thick wavy hair falling to her thighs. I took a hit on my self-esteem. She was like a younger La Push version of Rosalie, only she was smiling at me excitedly. Rose would be staring me down.

"Guys this is Nessie, Ness this is Quil, Embry, Paul, Seth, Leah, Kim and Claire." I blushed and waved at everyone.

We spent most of the evening eating burnt sausages and talking about my car, at 10 I decided I needed to head home. Jacob walked me to the Corvair, I was wearing his jacket, I think Alice and Phoebe intentionally missed out on that part of my outfit.

"I guess I um, will see you soon then." I smiled at him before starting to slip out of his jacket. He caught my hands.

"Keep the jacket, it looks better on you anyway." I nodded and got in the car, he waved as I drove toward home and I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. Jacob did funny things to my insides.

**AN – Hope you liked it... let me know yeah?**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN- I know its a short one, but give me a break I wrote 2 in one night and this is important.**

**RPOV**

I woke up with the sun shining straight in my eyes and my alarm clock blaring out. I really didn't want to get out of bed but I had to meet my .... Edward at the little diner in Port Angeles for lunch. Ten in the morning is way too early to be awake on a Saturday. I wiped my eyes and began to make my way downstairs. Mom was sitting in her usual Saturday morning spot. Huddled over a mug of coffee and a notepad. I still found it funny to look at her in her tartan pyjama pants, a Forks High sweater and her pink bunny slippers. Her glasses had fallen to the end of her nose and her hair was pulled into the messiest ponytail imaginable. She pulled it off though. My Mom is hot. She's not as skinny as Rose or Alice but she's not fat. Mom's got curves in all the right places. Her hair is naturally shiny and her skin shows barely any signs of ageing. She could pass for 25 anyday. If it was left up to her that's how she'd leave the house. Mom doesn't care about fashion as long as shes comfortable. I take after her a little in that way.

I grabbed for the coffee pot as my Pops came crashing through the door. I'd never seen him so angry before.

"Dad. Gun." Mom didn't even look up from her work as she reminded Grandpa Charlie to hang up his gun. She wouldn't have it in the house. She hated guns, she'd rather 2 men beat each other to death than use guns. Says its not fair, you can't defend yourself when someone points a gun at you. Grandpa huffed as he went back out to the porch to hang up his gun and kick off his boots. I was refilling Moms cup when he came back into the kitchen.

"You will never fucking guess what twatting piece of shit excuse for a man I pulled over for speeding this morning! I wanted to pull him out the pretentious excuse for a method of fucking transport and kick his motherfucking face in!" My eyes popped open in shock, I'd never heard my Pop's say shit let alone motherfucker. I stared at him in disbelief as his face was rapidly turning an interesting shade of red.

"What happened Dad?" Mom sounded bored as she questioned Grandpa on his unusual behaviour. It was hard distracting her from her Saturday routine.

"I'll tell you what fucking happened!" He slammed his fist onto the kitchen worktop causing Moms cell phone to crash to the floor. She looked at it rolled her eyes and looked back at her papers.

"Edward Fucking Cullen that's what happened!" Mom looked slowly up at my Pops her eyes wide and her lips set in a thin line. I tried my best to look innocent. I wasn't supposed to know the guy existed let alone that he was my father. "I saw a flashy silver car speeding along the road towards Port Angeles so I pulled it over and Edward Fucking Cullen was sitting at the wheel. He had the cheek to ask how I was as well then started rambling about meeting a friend for lunch. I swear if he'd said a single word about you Bells I would have punched him square in the jaw, Chief of Police or not." He finished his ramble then looked at Mom then looked at me a if he didn't realise I was in the room. He gasped before turning and leaving again.

"Mom are you okay you look like you've seen a ghost." I put my hand on her shoulder. She really did look like shit. As if her worst nightmare had just come true. She turned to me suddenly.

"Ness. Where did you say you were going today?" She looked determined, I had to lie. If I told her I was going to Port Angeles she'd put me under house arrest until she knew he was out of town.

"La Push, to meet Jacob and his friends." I had to admit, I was pretty convincing when I lied. Though Mom's pretty gullible too. She seemed to relax and I turned to head upstairs.

"Ness, you will let me know if your plans change won't you?" I nodded and went upstairs.

On the way to Port Angeles I sang along to my Stone Roses CD and thought about how sucky I was for lying to my Mom. At the end of the day though, it was for her benefit. He would make her happy again, they were supposed to be together and they were the only 2 people who didn't know it. I pulled into the parking lot next to a silver ferrari. I see what Pops meant about the flashy silver car. I locked my Corvair and examined my reflection in the shiny paintwork of the ferrari, I hoped he hadn't made an effort today I'd simply thrown on a flannel shirt over a Kyuss t shirt and slipped on my white plimsolls. I strolled into the diner and smiled when I saw a messy bronze do over the back of a red leather seat. I flung myself onto the seat opposite and smiled.

"I'm hungry." I declared picking up a menu. He smiled over the top of his coffee, his eyes crinkling around the edges as his eyebrows threatened to devour them.

"So what's cracking old man?"

"Oh the usual. Hip replacements and Bingo. Same old. What you having kid?" We both smiled at his joke and I rubbed my stomach as if to encourage it to decide what I wanted. As if to further my predicament the waitress came to the table.

"Hi there I'm Jessica I'll be your waitress this afternoon, what can I get y'all?" I already wanted to punch her in the face, she had one of those annoying high pitched voices. It didn't help that her eyes were all over my ... Edward, she put her head on one side and blew a bubble.

"Garden Burger. No onion." Edward and I said at exactly the same time before looking at each other with one eyebrow raised and laughing.

"2 Garden burgers, no onions please." He was still laughing when he turned to Jessica to finalise our order.

"And a banana milkshake please." I added on the end. After the waitress set down my shake and left to serve her newest table Edward gestured to my top.

"Kyuss huh?" I looked down and managed to dribble milkshake down my chin. I wiped it up quickly before pulling at my shirt. Edward chuckled to himself.

"This was actually a gift from Jasper, but yeah they're a pretty awesome band, my music taste isn't all that specific. If I hear a song I like I'll buy the album. I don't go for certain genres or styles I just like what I like." I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to my milkshake.

"You know you're very like your mother." He was giving me an odd look. Like he was trying to work something out.

"I know. I hear it all the time. I'm stubborn and I can't dress myself blah blah blah" I rolled my eyes and he chuckled again.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you dress." He smiled as he plucked at his collar. That's when I realised he was also wearing a checked shirt, jeans and plimsolls. I giggled automatically.

Our food was placed on the table and he watched as I covered my fries in pepper.

"I know I'm disgusting, that's just just how I like my fries. I reached for the mustard and squirted it into my burger. I was about to bite into it when I noticed Edward was also smothering his fries with pepper before squirting mustard into his burger. I shook my head and took a bite.

"Mustard makes it taste more like meat." I nodded my head.

"Exactly."

We ate our burgers in silence, the comfortable kind of silence. I wasn't a big over dinner conversation person. I undid the top button of my jeans and leant back in my chair.

"Oh man I feel like a fucking elephant now."

"You don't look like one." He was wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin, with a thoughtful look on his face. "Tell me. Nessie. How old are you really?"

I swallowed hard. Before looking at him with my eyes wide.

"I'm um 18 on Wednesday." I looked at him apologetically but for some reason I think he already knew that. He nodded.

"I thought as much." I was confused, where was the big freakout. The guy just found out he had a daughter.

"You're taking this incredibly well. Why aren't you freaking out?" I just didn't understand, he was so cool and collected.

"I think I knew the moment I saw your picture that you were my daughter Nessie. You look a lot like your Mom but at the end of the day I recognise those cheekbones anywhere." He ran a hand along the side of his face and smiled at me.

"Um. So what happens now then?" I hadn't though about what happens next.

"I think Renesmee, your next job is to tell your mother that we know." He folded his arms in his chest.

"Oh don't act all male parental unit on me now! I didn't find you so you could get me in trouble with my Mom." I laughed at him but he looked like he had just shat a brick.

"What's wrong?"

He blinked several times. "I'm a male parental unit."

I couldn't help but laugh. A few seconds later he burst out laughing too.

**AN- He took it well didn't he? Hmmm. How will Bella take it? Let me know what you thought. Yup yup I love it when you hit that review button.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN- This was an interesting one to write. Enjoy.**

**EPOV**

Meeting Renesmee had been interesting, I had an inclination that she was lying about her age the moment I accepted her friend request. She didn't look like a 16 year old and there was something strangely familiar about the way she looked. I couldn't put my finger on it at first but when she put half a pot of pepper on her fries things started clicking into place. Renesmee was my daughter. I had a daughter. An almost adult daughter. I'd missed everything. Her first laugh, the first word she spoke, her first day at school, school plays, spelling bees, the day she rode a bike with 2 wheels, prom, graduation. I felt like an ass. Bella had tried to contact me so many times after I left. I thought she'd beg me to come home but I should have known better than that. Bella wouldn't have wanted me to be back in Forks if I didn't want to be. I only had myself to blame for this. I made a promise to myself the moment she confirmed my theories. Edward Cullen was going to be in his daughters life, he was also going to try anything to make it up to her mother.

I reached for my cell phone. I dialled the all too familiar number and waited as it rang several times.

"Edward." His tone was formal, he knew if I rang him on his hospital line it was something I needed help with.

"Dad. Can I have the keys to the Forks house?"

He cleared his throat. " Of course. Why?"

"Um, I'm in a hotel in Port Angeles and I'm um not coming home. I'm staying in Forks Dad. Do you think Mom would mind packing up my apartment?" I couldn't believe how ridiculous I was being. I'm 36 for Christ sake. I shouldn't be afraid to tell my Dad he was a Grandfather.

"Edward, what's going on. We left Forks because you said you couldn't stand it any more. Son what's happened?" There wasn't a hint of frustration in his voice. He sounded worried. This is why I loved my Dad. He was so compassionate. He'd always put everyone else before himself, it was just his way.

I paused. How the fuck was I supposed to tell him I had a 17 year old daughter. Fuck I have a 17 year old daughter. I'm a father. Mom and Dad are grandparents. Bella gave birth to our child. Things were starting to sink in. I had to sit down before I blacked out. I honestly couldn't comprehend the situation. I've spent the last 17 years of my life wishing I'd never left Washington. I fucked up big time. If I hadn't left, we'd have the things we always dreamed of, Nessie would probably have 2 or 3 siblings. We'd buy the little yellow house on the end of the road and buy a swing set.

"Edward .. are you still there?" My Dad's anxious tone brought me back from my moment. I was even more determined to make things right.

"Yeah I'm here. Listen. I'm not really sure how to say this. When I left Forks, I got phone calls form Bella a million times a day, she tried writing but I threw away her letters." I heard him sigh on the the other end. I know, I was raised better than that blah blah blah. "Hear me out Dad. It turns out Bella had a reason for trying to contact me." I paused again and took a deep breath. "Dad. I have a daughter."

There was silence at the other end of the line. Trust Carlisle Cullen to lose his cool the moment I needed him most.

"Dad?"

"Wow. Erm. What can I say? I'm a grandparent? Gosh." He was absolutely shocked. I didn't blame him. He probably hadn't given any thoughts to Forks since we left. Now he had a connection.

"I know right?" A nervous chuckle slipped though as I ran my hands through my hair. I'd done that too much today it was starting to get greasy.

"We'll bring your belongings this weekend. I'll phone Ivan right away and have him sort out the pool house, he has an extra set of keys, you can move in as soon as he's done. Your mother will be pleased, she did love Forks. I better phone the hospital too and oh I bet the gardens are a state..."

I had to cut him off. He was getting ahead of himself.

"Woah Dad stop. You don't have to come back. I mean really Bella doesn't even know I know..." I knew my Mom would throw a wobbly that I hadn't told her first. I really didn't need to see her so soon. It wasn't necessary for the entire Cullen family to be relocated back to Forks because I forgot to buy Trojans when I was 18.

"Nonsense Edward. We have a granddaughter that we need to meet. And you know your mother will be upset about Bella. Sort it out son. See you Saturday. Good Luck."

My parents were completely bat shit crazy. Did they not think this was a big deal?

I needed to get my shit together. I jumped in my Ferrari and drove, rather fast, to the liquor store. I grabbed a bottle of Tanqueray and 20 Malboros. I hadn't smoked since college, but I seriously needed to calm my shit down before I regrouped with Ness tomorrow to strategise.

I was meeting with my daughter to discuss how best to inform her mother of our awareness of the situation. Seriously needed that gin right about now.

I crashed into the hotel and flipped the lid off the Tanqueray and took a swig. I didn't even wince as it burned the back of my throat. I welcomes the pain because it would only lead to calm. I put a cigarette between my lips and silently prayed for whoever thought it was a good idea to put hotel branded matches in the rooms. I inhaled the deadly delicious carbon monoxide fumes and sighed as I exhaled. I'd forgotten how good smoking felt. It truly was like the first drag kicked every ounce of stress from your system. Fuck all that lavender bath salt shit. Nicotine made the world a better place.

I spent my night watching pointless shows. Girls of The Playboy Mansion really? Was it actually necessary to make a show about Hugh Heffners constant supply of punani and inflatable boobs? Where was the substance really? I actually watched a half hour of three bimbos running around spending money earned by being wank material on things that were utterly ridiculous. Like fucking fake snow. What's the point!? And the one that should be a lesbian, definitely needs a new laugh. I'm ashamed to say I was relieved when Tila Tequilas Shot At Love came on. I took another swig and turned the TV off all together. I decided to take a shower.

As I washed away the last of the cheap hotel shampoo I thought about my first day at school. I didn't cry when my Mom left because I was holding my best friends hand. Bella held my hand for the whole day and we didn't say a word to each other. In fact we didn't say a word to anyone. It was like we'd made a silent pact to look after each other and that for some reason meant not communicating. I'm no child psychologist I don't know why the hell we did it we just did. I'll always remember that day because of Bella. Like all of my best memories Bella was right there beside me when I needed her. If she was here now she'd probably tell me to man up and face the music. She'd be kicking my ass too but that's besides the point. Some how she'd know exactly what to say to make me calm down. She'd bring me chocolate milk and peanut butter cookies and everything would be fine. I needed Bella back in my life. I needed to make things right between us and probably most important of all I needed to be a good father.

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking frantically on my door. Turns out I was supposed to check out an hour ago or let them know I was staying an extra night. I dealt with everything and slipped the lady a fifty for her patience. My mouth tasted like an ashtray soaked in gin, not the most amazing taste in the world but nothing a little toothpaste couldn't solve. I threw on a pair of jeans and a plain white t shirt. Not bothering to shower I shoved a loose grey beanie on my head and headed for the car.

Walking into the diner I knew something was off, today wasn't going to go as planned. I sighed, ordering a coffee and opening my newspaper. 10 minutes later I was rudely interrupted from the sports section by a small ladylike cough. I slowly lowered my paper expecting to see my newly found daughter before me. Instead I was met by the two most threatening women I'd ever come across.

"Good morning ginger bollocks. I see you've decided to make your sperm known again." I chuckled at the ever so pleasant tone she used.

"Ahh Rosalie, still a lady I see and Alice, my how smug you look this morning. Can I offer you ladies a coffee perhaps?" I smirked as I saw Alice trying not to smile.

"I'm sorry Edward they followed.." Renesmee's voice was apologetic

"I knew you'd come back." Alice's singsong bell like voice was music to my ears. I'd missed the crazy little pixie. She let out a puff of air as Rosalie elbowed her in the ribs.

"Cut the shit Cullen. What will it take to make you leave town?" Rosalie pursed her lips and bobbed her head like she was from the ghetto. Alice folded her arms across her chest and smiled.

"Oh Rosie, I think we both know I'm not going anywhere. I have a family to provide for now." I winked at Nessie, who looked plain embarrassed. So much like her mother.

"I'm glad you're home Edward." Alice stated before taking a big swig out of my cup, she pulled a face and placed it back on the saucer delicately. "Why you insist on 3 sugars I'll never know." I smiled at her. I truly had missed this place.

**AN- Mhmmm see even Edward Cullen turns to the bottle when things get a little crazy. Hope you liked it. As always let me know. **

**Oh and I'm sorry if I get stuff wrong, I don't know if Tila Tequila and Girls of The Playboy Mansion are on the same channel in America. It's hard to write American when you're English. You guys spell funny lol :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN- Mmkay you guys have been absolutely amazing with reviews and stuff so here's a little reward for you. Enjoy.**

**BPOV**

Was this some kind of sick joke. Edward Fucking Cullen was in town. He was near my daughter. Our daughter. Really though, this almost topped my list of worst possible things that could ever happen to me. I was fucking pissed.

So why when Charlie said his name did my heart stop beating and my stomach start doing that weird flipping thing. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I didn't know what to think. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my back door crashing closed.

Alice skipped into my living room the twins on either side of her hip, Phoebe and Robyn following closely behind her.

"Morning Bella." She handed me the boys as Rosalie stormed into my kitchen, muttering profanties her face like thunder. I heard Ethan and Tobias crashing up the stairs towards the games room.

"Tobias Jackson Whitlock I swear to god if you break Bella's staircase I'm going to let Lauren babysit again!" Alice called in the direction of the lounge.

"Hi Bella how are you? Oh I'm good thanks Alice how about you?"

"Sorry Bella would you mind watching the kids for an hour? Rose and I have some business to attend to." I heard one of my mugs shatter against the stone floor.

"Oh fucking cuntsticks! Sorry Bella, I'll get you another one." Rosalie reached into the cupboard for my dustpan and brush.

"Do I have a choice Alice?" I sighed. I was going to have a long morning.

Alice flung her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "Thanks Bella!"

There was a swirl of blonde and black and I was suddenly alone with what seemed like a million children.

Cody chose that moment to show me exactly how well his lungs worked. I rocked him as best I could with one arm, failing as Blaine too began to scream.

I couldn't explain my best friends weird behaviour or why I'd been left with their children until 3 in the afternoon but at the time I thought nothing of it until 4 o'clock arrived and my daughter arrived home in the strangest mood.

When she offered me my third cup of coffee in half an hour I decided something was seriously wrong.

"Ness seriously sit your ass down and tell me what's going on. You're starting to freak me out." She flashed me a quick smile before sitting quickly at the breakfast bar. She looked down at the floor guiltily.

"Spit it out kid, what have you done?" I saw her face screw up under her hair.

"Mom... wehaveaguestcomingtonightandIdon'twantyoutofreakoutbut.." I held my hand up to her and she silenced immediately.

"Where did you really go this morning Renesmee?" She inhaled deeply

"I'm sorry Mom." She'd gone to Port Angeles and I had a sneaking suspision that I knew who our guest was. My heart stopped for the second time today which only made me more angry. For starters my daughter had lied to me and I fucking hated lying and then she goes and invites the one man I never wanted to see again into our home. I couldn't shout at her though, she didn't know. She probably thought he was an old family friend or something. I felt the colour drain from my face and then burst into a violent red colour.

"Mom are you..?" I held a finger up once again silencing her. Taking a deep breath I controlled my emotions and looked to her. Her face was wracked with guilt. The poor kid obviously felt terrible, my heart immediately melted. I'd upset the one person I'd been trying to prevent from hurting for half my life.

"What time is he coming?" I tried not to look at her face. It was half of his face, not in the literal sense obviously but she looked a hell of a lot like him. It sometimes scared me but then I was glad, glad she'd gotten his good looking genes.

"In about an hour?" She looked down at the floor again. I nodded and left to change. I couldn't see Edward Cullen in my pyjamas.

I was surrounded by the contents of my wardrobe when Renesmee came in to check on me. Her cheeks were stained with tears and I again felt fucking terrible.

"I... I'm sorry Mom. I didn't mean to.." I wrapped her against my chest and held her tightly. Kissing the top of her head I felt my own tears began to trickle slowly down my cheek. I sighed and pulled her face away to look up at me.

"It's okay baby. I'm fine." She pulled a tissue from her pocket and handed it to me.

"Look at us, we're one big mess! I guess we better pull ourselves together before Edward gets here." Nessie smiled at me in response.

"I kind of though I'd make myself scarce. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about. Unless you want me to stay." Her face pleaded with me to let her go. One thing she got from me, her incapability to hide her emotions. I kissed her head once more.

"Thanks kid, you go have fun." She turned to leave but paused as she reached the doorway.

"Oh Mom?" I turned to her trying my hardest to smile. "Alice says wear the white linen pants with the navy shirt."

I dropped onto my bed and huffed as soon as she'd left the room. If I was honest with myself I was fucking shitting myself. White pants probably weren't the best idea.

I was drinking a glass of Dutch courage when I heard the knock on the door. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I wasn't exactly prepared for this, I didn't know what would be waiting on the other side of the door but I knew I had to keep my cool. I turned the doorknob slowly and pulled the door open.

It was then I realised that there was nothing that was going to help me prepare for what I saw before me. Edward Cullen was like cheese, he got a hell of a lot fucking better with age. I couldn't help but let my eyes travel up and down his body. He stood with his hands in his pockets, an awkward smile plastered on his face. My heart stopped as I saw the black leather jacket over hanging loosely on his broad shoulders. I noticed his grey polo shirt was tight across his upper torso, his muscles almost bursting through the thin material. His jeans were faded with time and all I could think about was how they'd look on my bedroom floor. My breathing became jagged as I looked up again to his face. His green eyes were almost black and I could empathise with the pain they showed, his hair was a little shorter than it had been in high school but it was just as messy. I bit my lip as I thought about how much I wanted to grab fistfuls of it as he pounded into me. The blush creeped slowly up my whole body and I knew then that I still needed him as much as I did the day he walked out of my life.

He was trying not to laugh and I saw his smile become instantly more genuine.

"Bella .. I.." I looked past him to see the little white Vespa in my driveway parked exactly the same way it used to be. I shot a smile at him quickly.

" You know?" I wasn't angry, in fact there was no emotion in my voice at all. It took almost all my concentration to make it that way. He nodded guiltily and I gestured for him to come inside. As soon as the door closed behind him I threw myself at him. Not the most sensible thing to do I know but I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I wanted this man, I always had and I probably always will. I crashed my lips to his urgently. He didn't kiss me back, I sighed utterly mortified at myself as I pulled away. Rejection was an evil feeling and I tried my best not to cry. Suddenly I felt a strong pair of hands grip my waist tightly and a soft pair of lips brush along my neck. I knew in that moment he felt exactly the same way I'd been feeling. I let my hands brush gently along his spine and up to his neck as his mouth moved back to mine. He kissed exactly as I remembered, paying much more attention to my lips than the inside of my mouth. When he nibbled my bottom lip I let out a small moan, I couldn't help it. It was my natural reaction and he knew that it turned me on more than anything. I slid my hands to his shoulders and slipped his jacket down hi shoulders, he shrugged it off eagerly and brought his hands to my face quickly. I thumbed the hem of his shirt before pulling it to off him . Running my hands across his chest I felt every single muscle. His nipples hardened as I scraped my nails across them. He hissed against my lips and unbuttoned my shirt quickly not even bothering to slip it off me before reaching around to my back and unclasping my bra. My skin reacted to his touch instantly. His fingertips were like fire, painlessly leaving trails of heat across my naked flesh. I unbuttoned my own pants and pushed myself closer against Edward. I needed him and I needed him now. He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, dropping his jeans as he did so. I pulled my lips from his quickly as I felt his hard length pressing against me.

"Edward I ... things have changed ... Renesmee ... I mean ... Having a baby .. Sort of.." He smiled at me encouragingly before thrusting his hips towards me, causing me to cry out.

"Fuck me Edward!" I couldn't stop myself from saying it and I wasn't embaressed to let him see just how much I wanted him. With a growl he ripped my panties off me and threw them across the room. I hoped to god they didn't land on a lampshade or anything. He swiftly pulled down his boxers and laid me gently across the couch. His fingers stroked my folds softly.

"Fuck Bella, you're so... so fucking wet!" He was genuinely surprised. Had the man never looked in a mirror? Honestly.

I pulled his face to an inch away from mine and stared into his eyes.

"Stop pissing around Cullen and fuck me!" He didn't seem to need any more encouragement as he plunged deep inside me. I cried out as I felt his cock make contact with my walls. I lifted my hips up to meet his thrust, desperately needing him to go faster. He thrust into me harder, his pace quickening every time our pelvises made contact. I stared into his eyes and saw the hope in them, his fingers intertwined with mine and his thrusting slowed. To be honest the intimacy scared me a little. I wasn't sure I was ready to take him back so quickly. He'd fucked a lot of things up for me. Broken my heart, left my daughter without a father for her whole life. I could feel my orgasm building up inside me. Yet I was still surprised when it crashed through me. The feeling was so incredibly different to the one I experienced with my trusty rabbit. I couldn't look at him as he rolled off me as he came down from his own high.

"Edward I think you should leave now."

**AN – Oh Bella you bitch!!!**

**Hope you enjoyed that one! I certainly did lol!!**

**Let me know. x**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN- Oh man your responses to the last chapter had me chuckling. This ones a little more angsty, but in case you hadn't noticed I can't write a chapter without some kind of joke in it. I hope it works in this one. Yeah enjoy....**

**EPOV**

Okay I guess I deserved that one.

I'd been pretty fucking shocked at first to say the least, I thought Bella hated me. I broke her heart after getting her pregnant at 18. I was a shitty excuse for a man but she kissed me anyway. I felt an undeniable amount of need and want in that kiss and I truly didn't understand her. Women are a very fucking complicated species and I learnt from my father to never try to understand them. It was fruitless. Not even Freud truly understood women. Penis envy ... pffttt. What did they have to be jealous of really?

I never imagined I would ever have sex with Bella again and even if I did I always thought it would be about making love but I was incredibly wrong. We'd been completely overcome by each others desire. I felt pretty stupid for making assumptions about Bella because she always had surprised me. Maybe I should have expected it. Bella and I never needed any words, always happy to just be in the others presence. Truth was I would always need her. The short time I had spent with her this afternoon had made me realise when I left Forks I left a part of me behind. I left a piece of me with Bella, it was buried deep inside her heart and it always would be. Being in her presence I felt totally relaxed. I was home when I was with Bella.

I leaned into the white leather couch in my parents pool house nursing my half empty bottle of Jim Bean and taking a long drag of the cigarette resting gently between my fingers. Ironic really, how a such a poisonous thing made me feel so much better. I fucking hated irony.

I honestly had no clue how to make things better between Bella and I. I mean where the fuck was I supposed to start!? I had royally left her in the shit when I let my all too regular overreactions lead me to such an idiotic decision. I should never have removed myself from Bella's life. I didn't want to think about how different things would have been had I stayed. I launched my glass across the room and watched as it hit the wall opposite me and shattered into hundreds of pieces. I was a fucking fool. The deliciously deadly bourbon mocked me as it ran down the wall slowly. It could be wiped away, cleaned up and forgotten about. The mess I'd gotten into couldn't.

I had shat on everyone I loved most. My best friends, the love of my life and my ... daughter. I'd always been Alice's confidant when she spoke about her parents when we were younger. I'd been the one to sit with her and bitch about absent fathers. Now I was one of them. When did the world get so fucking fucked up that I had done that to Bella and Renesmee. I heard the door close slowly in my kitchenette but I couldn't bring myself to look up. Frankly I didn't care who it was. In fact I hoped it was a crazy axe murderer come to end my life. At least that way I wouldn't hurt anyone else.

"Good you're up." I raised my head slowly to look at Alice who had planted herself firmly in the other couch.

"Fucking hell Edward, how much have you drunk. You're eyes are well... you look shitfaced if I'm honest." She pulled her knees up to her chest and made herself comfortable. She was going to be here a while. Just what I needed. Not.

"Can I help you with something Alice?" I saw her grimace as she looked around the room. I made a real mess. I'd only been in here since last night and already it was a fucking state. There were cigarette butts, empty beer cans and pizza boxes littering every surfaces.

"I didn't know you smoked." I laughed dryly at her statement and tried to focus my eyes on her face.

"Neither did I until I fucking ruined everything for everyone else." I walked to the fridge and pulled out a bud offering one to Alice. She declined, I shrugged my shoulders and swiftly removed the bottletop with my teeth.

"Edward I really don't think Carlisle and Esme spent a huge amount on those perfect teeth of yours for you to be opening bottles with your teeth. Have you never heard of a bottle opener?" She raised her eyebrows at me and cleared away my bottle of Jim Bean.

"Are you here for any particular reason Alice or was it just too much of a temptation to come over here and lecture my ass off?" her eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips at me.

"Edward Cullen, personally I don't think you are in any position to be rude to anyone. You are a state." I blew out a puff of air through pursed lips and threw my hands in the air.

"Do you honestly think you're going to get Bella back like this?"

"Who said I wanted her back? She used me Alice." My voice cracked as I tried to stop myself from crying. I did want her back. More than anything else in the entire world.

"Oh fucking grow a pair Cullen. You need to learn when to get over yourself and do what's fucking right. You and I both know why you're here." She grabbed the carton of orange juice from my fridge and sat back down on the couch across me.

"You know I'd never hit a woman Alice, but I swear with you there's always been the temptation." She was pissing me off, sitting on my couch drinking my orange juice from the carton and telling me off. "And by the way could you use a fucking glass that's disgusting." I motioned towards her as she took a big swig from the carton.

She smiled at me. "Coming from the guy drinking on his own on a Tuesday night in what can only be described as the most disgusting disease ridden sweat pants in existence." She grimaced at me again. I flipped her the finger quickly and she smiled again.

"I'm glad you're coming around."

"What do you want me to do Alice?" I stuffed my fingers in my ears, fully expecting Alice's reaction. She screamed excitedly and began bouncing up and down in her seat.

The next morning was painful. I reached for my cigarettes from the bedside table and threw them straight out the window. My head was pounding and I wanted nothing more than a nice cold glass of orange juice. Alice had had her mouth all over mine though and that shit was just not cool.

I dragged myself out of bed pulling on a pair of basketball shorts and a beat up hoody. I made my way into the living area and immediately began picking up bottles and cans. I tipped everything down the sink. Including the half bottle of Dom Perignon I'd discovered last night. That shit was almost $200 a bottle. I needed to clean my act up though. Mission 'Get Bella Back' as Alice had lovingly named it in the early hours of this morning was beginning in precisely 3 hours and one of the conditions of Alice helping me was that I quit the drinking and smoking, got a fucking job and started to respect myself. Fucking annoying little pixie.

I wasn't the least bit surprised when she wasn't alone on my doorstep. Renesmee looked at me apologetically. So much like her mother. Bella was always apologising for Alice. We all loved her really and there was no need to say sorry, Alice always meant well. I ruffled a hand quickly through my messy hair and gestured for them to come in.

"See Cullen this place scrubs up pretty well." Alice looked around the room content. Renesmee walked over to the fridge and began pulling out the out of date food and throwing it away.

"Erm Alice ... I think we need to shop." Alice's face lit up as soon as Nessies mouth formed the 'sho' sound and she pulled me into the biggest hug possible for such a tiny person.

"Oh Edward. I just know this is going to work." I chuckled nervously before looking to Renesmee who actually looked pretty pissed.

This was going to be a hell of a lot fucking harder than I thought.

**AN- You like? Let me know. **


	11. Chapter 11

**AN- okay I know its a short one but it's important to the story. Bellas pretty messed up. Don't hate her for using Edward. Think about what he did to her!! I'll let you read now .. enjoy **

**BPOV**

I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I needed Edward Cullen like the air that I breathed.

I had to make him leave, there was no other choice. I may have needed him but I couldn't just let things pick up where they left off. I couldn't feel that pain again, it very nearly killed me and it endangered Renesmee's life. I didn't take care of myself during my pregnancy. I'm ashamed of it now but at the time there was nothing I could do to pull myself out of the depression. It consumed me, I didn't eat for days at a time. Couldn't sleep for fear of dreaming of him and then waking to find he wasn't really there. Alice and Rosalie looked after me as best they could. Having to restrain me and forcefeed me vitamins at my lowest points. They were there at the birth. I was wheeled off almost straight away and had tubes inserted everywhere. I had to see a psychiatrist before I was allowed to see my daughter, then I was monitored for months afterwards in case I spiralled into post-natal depression. The second I saw her beautiful face I knew I needed to get my act together. Holding her in my arms made everything real for me. I started eating properly, looking after myself. I was completely and utterly in love with her the moment she grasped my little finger with her tiny wrinkled hand. I knew then that I would always protect her no matter what.

I couldn't let Edward walk out of her life as he walked out of mine. I was going to let him know if he was going to be a part of her life now, he was going to be a part of it forever, he had a choice to make.

When Alice walked into my kitchen at 12 o'clock she took one look at me and threw her arms around me. I guessed I looked worse than I thought, in truth I'd spent all night crying and only got about 2 hours sleep.

"Oh Bella!" I smelt her familiar vanilla scent and was overcome with another fit of tears. I sobbed into her chest. She didn't seem to care when I wiped my nose across her shirt.

"Oh Alice ... I.. I don't.. don't know... whatI'msupposedtodooooooooo!" She stroked my hair until my tears finally came to a halt. I felt her small hands grip my shoulders as she brought me to face her. Grabbing for a tissue I dried my eyes. Alice was looking at me with sympathetic eyes. Her face quickly changed, it was as if a light bulb went off in her head. She grabbed her car keys and made for the door.

"Alice where are you .." I stood from my stool, she couldn't just leave me. She turned and smiled.

"Bella get dressed, I'll meet you in the car." I couldn't help the little chuckle that left my mouth. She was just so .... Alice.

Before I knew it we were in a car headed for Port Angeles.I suddenly had visions of why we were going to Port Angeles and my head started spinning. I grabbed the edges of the seats to stop myself throwing up.

"Bella relax, he's not in Port Angeles now." I turned to look at her with one eyebrow raised. I'd never understood how she just seemed to know things and I'd learnt a long time ago it wasn't worth asking.

A few moments later we pulled up in front of a little pink building I couldn't recall ever seeing before. Alice reached for my hand and pulled me through the door. A bell rung as it opened and as I looked around me I realised we were in a salon.

"Alice darling how are you? It's been too long sweetie. You look fabulous by the way." Alice was wrapped into the arms of a huge copper skinned man. His short hair was jet black and spiky. His ensemble was a little 'out there' although I couldn't deny the violet paisley button down and black leather pants actually suited him.

"You too sunshine! I love that shirt, its so very you. But Sammy, we have a very real beauty crisis on our hands." Sammy put his hands on his hips and cocked an eyebrow at Alice.

"Alice Mary Whitlock are you suggesting there is a hot mess that I can't solve?" Alice threw her head back and laughed, gesturing to me. I blushed immediately as his eyes fell upon me. He looked me up and down and waved his finger in the air before placing it gently on his chin.

"Oh sweetie. Lets make you beautiful." He winked at me before moving me towards a swivel chair positioned in front of a mirror.

After two hours of poking, plucking, scrubbing and hacking I did feel pretty. Sammy had cut my hair a little shorter, it now rested on my shoulders and it felt oh so soft. He plucked my eyebrows into a thin arch, making me look a lot less like a caterpillar farm. Thankfully my make-up was minimal and didn't even look like I had any on. I'd opted to forego the artificial nails and went for a simple French manicure instead. I stood before Alice and Sammy in the outfit Alice had thrown at me when she went to pick up some coffee.

"Let me tell you Bells, when you walked in here I thought for certain you were a lost cause. Under that birds nest hair though, you're a stunner! Look at those jugs!" I chuckled embarrassed and Alice simply beamed at me. She stuffed Sammy a handful of notes and we left in a flurry.

"Mom!? Mom!? Where are you? Mom!?" I could hear Nessie calling me from downstairs as I stood in front of my mirror in my underwear. Inspecting my horrible body. When my bedroom door burst open Renesmee wolf whistled at me.

"Jeez Mom you know how hot you are?" I shot her a death glare before turning to grab my pyjamas.

"Seriously though, how many women your age do you know with a cracking rack like that. Other than those superhuman freaks of nature Alice and Rosalie." I laughed down my nose.

"Mom, you're beautiful, you just don't see it. Look properly." She pointed to the mirror.

I stared at my face first of all. I guess I was reasonably lucky, I didn't have a wrinkle in sight and my skin was pretty. My eyes were just as bright and sparkly as they'd been when I was younger. I was grateful to be blessed with good hair. The colour was a little boring but it was thick with a natural loose wave and it framed my face nicely and I suppose my body wasn't that terrible. I was only a size 10 and I had curves, real curves. I was pale, but who in Forks wasn't. My eyes welled up as I realised my daughter was teaching me to love my body. My 17 year old daughter. I pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head.

I realised then, she was so much stronger than me. She was smart, she wouldn't let her father hurt her. Hell this girl wouldn't let anyone hurt her. Emmett had taught her to throw a proper punch when she was still in diapers. The girl didn't need looking after like I thought. Perhaps it was time to take care of myself.

**AN- ok let me know ....**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN- Okay okay, The last chapter was short I know I'm sorry. Hopefully this one will make up for it though .... enjoy**

**EPOV**

"Edward? Edward?" I heard Bella calling my name from the kitchen, no doubt she wanted me to read her latest chapter.

"I'm here love." I was outside watching the sun, we didn't see a lot of it in Forks so it was understandable that I enjoyed every minute of what we did get. I felt a small pair of arms wrap around my waist and an equally small head place itself on my shoulder.

"Mmmm, I've missed the sun." She tickled my stomach as she closed her eyes, letting the sun warm her face. "It's so beautiful don't you think?"

I spun her around quickly so I could look at her face. "No." She tilted her head to the side and cocked an eyebrow. I smiled and placed my hands on her pale cheeks.

"It's nothing compared to you baby." I brought my lips to hers softly and her hands made their way into my hair. I left a trail of kisses from her lips, across her jaw and down her neck. Every single kiss brought her body impossibly closer to me. We fit together perfectly, it was as if she was made to curve into my chest effortlessly. My lips met the neckline of her shirt and I growled in frustration. Bella screamed as I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder.

"Edward put me down! I mean it!" I let my free hand tickle her ribs quickly and she was overcome with a fit of giggles. "Edward... Cullen.. I.. swear... if... youdon'tput.. ahhhh!" I dropped her softly on the bed and stood back to look at her. Her skin was flushed from all the giggly, complimented by the creamy gold sheets she laid on. Bella truly was exquisite. I loved every single inch of her, from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. Now, on her back, hair splayed out around her she was the definition of temptation. I lowered myself to kiss her addictive lips and I felt her smile against my mouth as she scraped her nails down my back under my shirt.

"Oh Miss Swan, you're going all the right ways about getting a spanking." She moaned then and pulled my face back to hers with a little more force than before. I straddled her waist and placed my hands either side of her head as she began unbuttoning my shirt. Her cold hands grazed my nipples, instantly hardening them and I felt myself biting on her bottom lip. Again she smiled against me and plunged her hands deep into my pants.

I was awoken by the fucking beeping of the alarm clock. I was having such a good dream aswell. Though I'm sure my parents would be pretty pissed if I didn't pick them up from the airport. I sighed and kicked off the duvet unleashing my almighty morning glory. It's a good job I didn't have company, that shits indecent. Flinging my legs over the bed I rubbed my eyes, trying to get rid of the dream. It had felt so real. It felt so right. I made my way to the bathroom, slipping off my boxers before stepping into the shower. I let the powerful bursts of water relax all my muscles, despite such a good dream. My body had been clenched up, in anticipation of something terrible happening. I kept replaying it in my head. Bella sprawled across her bed, our bed. Her delicious pinky white skin calling out to me. The way she gave me goosebumps the moment her skin made contact with mine. Her little pink lips just asking to be bitten. I flipped the temperature to cold and tried to concentrate on washing my hair.

I made it to the airport just as my parents were coming towards the parking lot. Talk about lucky. My mother sprinted over to me and wrapped me into a bone-crushing hug, in her 5 inch heels and pencil skirt of course. The woman had fashion superpowers I swear.

"Oh Edward, I've missed you." I chuckled lightly as she started brushing fluff from my coat.

"Mom, really it's been a week." She simply beamed at me before looking over to my father who was now strolling across the lot with a case in each hand.

"Morning son." He nodded his head at me as he loaded the cases into the trunk of my car.

"How was your flight?" I began my questions as we pulled onto the road back towards Forks.

"Oh Edward please." My Mom snorted as she spoke. I'd never heard her make such an unladylike noise before, frankly it was little out of character. I shot her a quick confused glance before focusing back on the road. She simply smiled and said "Lets get some coffee."

We pulled up outside what was probably the only coffee shop in Forks and my Mom couldn't stop smiling for some strange reason. We walked inside and the smell of good coffee filled my nostrils. I looked to my Dad who gestured to my Mom walking straight into the outstretched arms of Alice. My face fell. I now knew why my Mom had been smiling so much at the mention of the word coffee. Her and Alice were up to something.

"Esme! Carlisle! I didn't realise you were landing today!" Alice let go of my Mom before pulling Dad into another hug. I rolled my eyes. I walked towards the counter, hoping to get some coffee to numb the effect of Alice and my mother together when I was met with my favourite pair of chocolate brown eyes.

"Bella." I breathed. She looked like a deer caught in headlights. It was awkward to say the least, after all I hadn't heard from her since she threw me out of her bed. After the most mind blowing sex ever.

"Can I get you something?" Her tone was polite, with no hint of emotion. She was treating me like a regular customer.

"Bella please?" I saw a flicker of pain in her eyes before she turned away from me. I followed her along the counter. I wanted to make things up to her, couldn't she see that!?

I grabbed her arm as she reached the end of the counter and started to push against the door to the kitchen.

"Listen to me Bella. I want to make things right!" I looked into her rich brown eyes and felt that invisible piece of string tug at my stomach making it flip around all over the place.

"Perhaps you should have thought about that before you left." Her voice was cold but her eyes told another story.

"I didn't know and I'm sorry Bella. I've wished I was here with you every day for the past 18 years." She let out a snort of disbelief. "Believe me love, I've missed you every day."

"Don't call me that." She looked like her heart was about to tear in two and her voice was cracking a little more with everything she said

"Bella I.." I reached to stroke her face but she shrugged me off. I wanted nothing more than to hold her at this moment. I wanted to comfort her, make everything okay. She was hurting and it was ripping my heart to pieces just watching.

"Why are you here Edward? Do you just enjoy fucking up other peoples lives? Is it some kind of sick fetish you have? Oh look Bella's doing okay lets just go mess everything up for her again." Her words struck a nerve.

"I came. I came to apologise to you Bella. I tried to explain I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for the long haul. I want to be in Renesmee's life! Maybe you'd have heard everything I had to say if you hadn't jumped my bones the second I walked in the fucking door!" I suddenly became very aware of the shop full of people listening to our conversation. Two of them being my parents. I watched as a tear rolled down Bella's cheek and her face became contorted with pain. I felt terrible. I'd just blamed everything on her.

"You fucking ruined me Edward Cullen and you're not going to ruin my daughter!" She practically screamed at me now. Obviously not caring about the room full of people. Her sobs had seemed to take over her whole body as she shook with her own pain and anger. All of it aimed at me.

"Bella I'm .." I was cut off by Bella's hand making contact with my cheek. When I opened my eyes to look at her, she was gone and the door to the kitchen was swinging in it's frame. I let out a long sigh and turned to see Alice shaking her head at me. Then the kitchen door swung open again. I turned quickly ready to pour my heart out only to find my daughter staring back at me.

"Ness.. I.." I was ready to explain myself to her, explain why I'd upset her Mom but then she raised her hand and waved at me with a big smile.

"Hi." This girl was even more unpredictable than her mother.

"Hello." I scratched my head. Was I supposed to introduce her to my parents, would Bella be okay with that? I didn't have time to think about that though as she walked straight over to them.

"Hi, you must be Carlisle and Esme, Edward speaks very highly of you. I'm pleased to finally meet you. I'm Renesmee." I was amazed to see her speaking so refined and ladylike. She looked so grown up shaking hands with my father. "I'm your bastard Granddaughter." I slapped my hand to my forehead and fought the urge to laugh at her. I could see Alice shaking with her own silent laughter. My parents were shocked to say the least. My Dad's eyes were wide as he looked at my mother before they both burst out laughing.

"I guess that would make us your bastard Grandparents." My mother chuckled as she wrapped my daughter into a hug similar to the one I received at the airport. I wanted to take a photograph of this moment. Renesmee looked so at ease with my parents, there was no forced laughter, no awkward silences. In fact she looked completely enthralled by every single thing either of them said. It's a shame her mother wasn't witnessing this. I think she would be proud.

**AN- Now please let me know what you think about this one as I'm a little worried about it. It's been planned for a while I'm just not sure how you guys will like it. Please, please, please let me know? **

**(See I even beg!)**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN- Omg I only just realised I uploaded chapter 12 from my other story last time!! haha well the right one is up now. Seriously next time somebody please let me know!! Enjoy ..**

**BPOV**

It's hard to explain exactly how I felt at that moment. Curled up in a cocoon of my bed covers. I couldn't stop rocking myself, I suppose it was a natural reaction to try and comfort myself but it really wasn't working. He had offered me everything. He wanted to make things right. He wanted us. He wanted me.

That was something I couldn't comprehend.

I wish I could cry. That would be a justification for me still being here, under the covers, after 4 hours. I had cried every single tear I had though, my puffy red eyes were proof enough. His words had stung and my fucking stupid heart told me to defend myself, to just go ahead and shout at him. I wish everyday that my head was stronger than my heart. I wouldn't be in this horrible mess if it was. Though thanks to my heart I had Renesmee, a sacrifice I was not willing to make. I still loved him with every fibre of my being. Every single inch of him. From his messy ginger hair to his incredibly smelly toes. I smiled to myself knowingly. Edward may well be beautiful but his feet really did stink. I vowed to myself there and then to not to ever write about somebody being relived to smile again because in reality it was fucking painful. The muscles in my face must have set in the crying position because it felt like smiling was going to rip it in half.

I untangled my legs from each other and threw myself backwards onto the bed. It felt amazing to breathe in air that hadn't been trapped under the covers with me. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, filling my lungs. I lifted my arms above my head and stretched my fingers until they met the wall above the headboard. Every single bone in my body cracked and groaned and I drifted into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the smell of freshly ground coffee and pastry. I turned to the ceiling and silently thanked whatever kind of God was up there for giving me the most well trained daughter in the world.

"Ness! I'm up." This was our routine. When we knew the other was sad we'd bring them coffee and pastry in the morning and sit outside their room until they woke. I heard the bedroom door open and the weight on the other side of the bed as I turned to grab my coffee. Nessie snuggled up to me, moments later I felt her eyes on my face. I looked down to be met by concerned brown eyes.

"Mom. Are you okay?" I nodded at her before taking another sip.

"No really. I don't want you to lie about it any more. I'm big enough and ugly enough to understand that you hurt sometimes. I grew out of thinking you were Wonder Woman a long time ago Mom. Emmett kind of ruined that one." She scrambled across the bed to the TV and put in Labyrinth before turning to me and beaming.

"Nessie, you know its not okay to think David Bowie is hot, especially in lycra." She smacked my arm playfully.

"You have no right, you fancy my Dad sicko." I couldn't help but laugh at her statement. She jumped back into my bed resting her head on my shoulder.

"You still didn't answer the question properly." I sighed before placing my coffee down and sitting up so I could look at her.

" Nessie. I'm honestly fine. I overreacted yesterday purely because I didn't know what was the right way to act. I still love him Ness I just don't know what to do. When he left he took my best friend with him. The one person who convinced me that every decision I made was the right one and when he left I stopped believing in myself. If it hadn't been for Alice and Rose finding my first novel and sending it to the publishers themselves. We wouldn't be here still. He hurt me so bad, it just freaks me out a little that in my heart he's forgiven. It's as if nothing changed. Do you understand sweetie?" She nodded at me slowly.

"Meh thinking with your head isn't always all it's cracked up to be." She shrugged her shoulders her attention fixed on the movie. I stared at her in disbelief. She was such a hippy sometimes. I almost expected her to come home in a skirt made from wheat and tell me she'd burnt all her underwear. I shook my head at her and continued to watch the movie.

"Actually thinking about it ... I overheard something yesterday that I really didn't wanna hear" Her face was blank, giving me no idea what she was talking about.

"Care to elaborate my dear?" I look at her confused once again by her actions. I was the girls mother, the one person in the world that probably knew her better than she knew herself and she still kept me guessing. I watched as she pursed her lips before crumbling into the most disgusted face I had ever witnessed on another human being.

"You and Edward did the dirty the other night!" I thumped her hard on the head with a pillow and she burst into fits of giggles. Renesmee and I's relationship wasn't like regular ones mothers had with their daughters. She told me everything. She told me about all the boys she kissed. When she lost her virginity. It was a very open subject in our house. Though I still didn't appreciate her bringing up my dirty laundry.

She hit me back, almost knocking me off the edge of the bed and I couldn't contain my laughter as I bashed her repeatedly in the face chanting;

"I can bear it no longer! Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever you may be take this child of mine far away from me!" We laughed for what seemed like forever before finally slumping back onto the bed exhausted.

"Ness, don't you think Emmett looks a bit like Ludo?" She laughed loudly before replying with "Yeah it's all in the tiny eyes."I chuckled looking to the screen quickly for confirmation and a loud snort left my nose. Nessie looked shocked and her mouth dropped open, I smacked her upside the head with my pillow again and she finally let out a titter.

"You know I just want you to be happy Mom?" I sighed and nodded at my daughter. She was far too grown up for her own good. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her to me. Rubbing my knuckles across her head.

"Arrrggghhhhh Mom. I'm trying to be serious."

I laughed loudly "You seem to forget I grew up with Emmett. I learnt how not to do serious from the best."

We spent the rest of the day watching 80's films and eating crappy food from the comfort of my bedroom. We were so relaxed we didn't realise the time.

"Bella? Ness?" We looked at each other as we heard Emmetts voice booming through the house.

"Where the fuck are you? Is this some kind of joke?" Ness and I chuckled. "Why are you in the bedroom? You know Alice is gonna freak if you're still in bed." He pushed open the door and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw his little beady eyes. Nessie soon caught on and she too burst into fits of giggles.

"What?" I saw a flash of mischief across Emmetts face but it was too late to warn Nessie, I turned to her only to find Emmett sitting on her.

"Omg. Cant. Breathe. Diet." It was quite clear Renesmee was struggling to cope with Emmett sitting on her.

"Emmett can you get your fat ass off my daughter, I do want her to have all her body parts functioning when she goes to college." I noticed Nessie look quickly to the floor as Emmett removed his ass from her chest. I shot her a confused look but she continued to stare straight at the floor.

"Ooooooohhh you haven't told her yet. You're so dead." Emmett stood pointing between me and Nessie a huge shit eating grin on his face.

I did my best I'm your mother now tell me what the fuck you've done now look to Renesmee and I watched her breaking. Her face went rapidly from guilt to anger and briefly to determination before finally settling on guilt again.

"Mom I ..." Renesmee started but was very quickly cut off by a great big oaf who liked to get everyone in trouble clearly.

"Bella. Ness isn't going to college. Guess who suggested it.. tell her Ness.." Emmett was still grinning. I didn't know whether to punch him in the face or kiss him. Renesmee looked to the floor again but this time she never looked up. She simply stood and left the room.

"I'm going to fucking kill him! I swear I'll kill him! Is this serious!?" I was about to burst out the room ready to drive to the Cullens house and kick Edwards ass but I was caught by a thick arm and lifted into the air. I kicked my legs out violently and tried to thrash out against Emmetts chest, but he really was built like a tree trunk.

"I swear to God Emmett McCarty if you don't put me down I'll .. I'll... Emmett put me down!! Or else!" I screamed but it was fruitless, Emmett didn't care, he knew I couldn't hurt him. The only person he was scared of was his wife. I don't blame him. Rosalie scared the shit out of me sometimes.

"Come on little one we need to get a drink in you and let your anger out without hurting yourself or anyone else in the process. You're gonna hate me for saying this Bella, but it's Nessie's choice at the end of the day. And .... he is her father." He winced as he said the last part and covered his crotch with his free hand.

"Oh Emmett I fucking hate you when you make sense."

**AN- Chapter 13 has always been my weakness, I've finally written it so there you go .. let me know what you think. It's not much in the way of plot development but I think it's important we see some of Nessie and Bellas relationship. Too much Daddy for a story called Daddy wasn't there.**

**Seriously .. anyone else majorly love Labyrinth?**


	14. Chapter 14

**RPOV **_(because it seems like forever)_

I decided I needed to get out.

My Mom was going to throw an uber shit fit unless somebody got her to chill first. That somebody was going to be Emmett.

Fucking overgrown idiot. Him and his stupid fucking crater dimple face could twat off. He told my Mom that I wasn't planning on going to college. What's his problem, does he go out of his way to upset people or is he just plain ignorant. Actually I already knew the answer to that. Emmett was a dumbass. He couldn't help it, Rose always said that he lost a brain cell every time he whacked off into her expensive towels. Emmett must have spoiled a lot of towels.

There was only one place I knew I could go to runaway from this. I couldn't go to Jasper and Alice's, they would rather jump off a cliff than take sides between me and my Mom. Especially when there wasn't a simple right and wrong side. This shit was technically my decision, though I guess my Mom should have some say in it, seeing as how she popped me out her vag and provided the cash. I wouldn't get a word in with Rosalie, she'd only shout and swear about the fact that millions of people dreamed of going to college but couldn't and tell me how I'm throwing away the best oppurtunity that ever happened to me. Oh and she'd remind me it was my fault Mom didn't graduate from college. I thought telling Emmett was the best option. I thought he'd understand. After all he told me his parents pressured him into playing college soccer when he wanted to do art. Hence all the weird splodges of paint on canvas all over Rose and Emmett's house. He ratted me out though. My own fault for telling someone who once asked me if the drummer from Nirvana and the lead singer of the Foo Fighters were related or if they just really looked like each other. On the subject of stupid things Emmett has said, he once argued with himself for an hour as to why Pop Tart's weren't called Rock Tarts or even Hip Hop Tarts. I always understood Rosalie's temper once I'd spent any great length of time with him.

I was going to La Push. To see Jacob. He wouldn't try and persuade me either way. Hell I wouldn't even need to explain my reasons to him. I hadn't even considered Edward, purely because my Mom was pissed enough as it was, I didn't need to add fuel to the fire. That was probably burning everything I owned right now.

Pulling up outside Jacob's house, I suddenly felt very nervous. I hadn't told him I was coming to La Push, I felt like I was about to invite myself into his house. I had my key in the ignition and was about to start up my engine again when I saw the curtains moving in the front room of Jacob's tiny little house. Suddenly the front door burst open and all anxiety I had been feeling flew out the window. Along with my rationality and sense of morals. Jacob wasn't wearing a shirt. I thought I was going to come in my brand knew Victorias Secret panties. Judging by some of the stuff in that store, Victoria didn't have very many fucking secrets! And at that moment I wanted Jacob to know all my secrets. I couldn't even count whatever pack he had.

"Ness are you gonna come inside or sit there staring at me all day?" He shouted from the porch.

I turned horrendously red as I realised my eyes had glazed over with lust and my lip was between my teeth. Jacob had noticed. I closed my eyes and once again considered turning the key and driving home. I needed to man up and face the music. Come on Ness you have the wittiest combination of genes in the entire world. You are fricken superwitgirl. I opened the door slowly, worried about the fact my legs were barely able to support me. Then I remembered I'd chosen to wear a skirt. Who needed wit when your Grandma Swan donated a cracking ass to the genepool. Eww not literally. I swung my legs out the side of the car and stretched them onto the side walk in front of me. I knew what a boner generator this move could be, I had used it a million and one times. It was all in the execution.

I coyly looked at the floor before half smiling and looking up to Jacob briefly. The few seconds I saw of his expression told me my little plan was working. He was mesmerised already, normally guys weren't hooked this early into the recital. I reached my arms out behind me and used the seat to push myself into the air, my back arched, like I was stretching it. I rolled my head around slowly on my neck, exposing about an inch more cleavage and a tiny bit of the red material. I straightened my back and tousled my hair with my left hand, pushing the car door shut with my right foot.

Taking a few steps toward where Jake was standing, still not looking directly at him. I chucked my keys softly behind me. I shook my head in fake annoyance and spun around quickly, crossing my legs behind each other. I hoped to God my panties weren't crammed into the crack of my 'perfect' ass as I slowly bent at the waist, my ass pointing straight at Jacob and revealing the soft curves of my buttcheeks. I spun around quickly and smiled at him before bounding up the porch steps. I reached his face, his eyes still wide and his mouth hung loose. I closed his mouth gently with my index finger before tapping his cheek twice with my palm.

"Now who's staring?" I smiled seductively and cocked an eyebrow at him before sashaying into the house. Silently grateful for my beautiful buns. It was several moments before Jacob followed into his sitting room. He was scratching his head and looking everywhere but at me.

"Oi fleaboy stop scratching, you'll make your head bleed." I patted the sofa next to me, a smug smile forming on my face. I had really affected him that much. I noticed his shirt lying across the arm of the chair, I thought about passing it to him but decided I much preferred the half naked look.

He looked at me nervously before beginning to pace across the room. I sighed heavily and waited for him to finish creating a worn patch in his fathers carpet. I didn't have to wait long.

"Ness .. I" I looked at him and his eyes turned dark.

"Fuck it.. I'm just going to say it. Urm.. How long have we known each other? I mean properly like, since we actually started speaking to one another?" His words came out faster than he imagined I think because the sentence structure sounded strange to my ears.

"Erm just over a month but I really don't see where you're going with.." He held a hand out to silence me. I fucking hated that. I was just about to reprimand him when I felt his lips against mine. Hard and needy. I was stunned for just a second before I began to gently kiss him back. I wasn't going to lie to myself I wanted him. He pulled away and placed his hands on either side of my face and spoke straight into my eyes.

"Renesmee. You are the most beautiful, smartest, funniest, sexiest girl I have ever met. The second I met you I knew I would fall for you. When you said that hot hunk of yellow metal outside was yours I wanted you. I needed you in my life. I can't stop thinking about you Ness. I know we barely know each other but its like we always have."

Oh shit. So that's what this was. The reason I seemed to run to Jacob the second I needed to speak to someone. The reason I hadn't seen Angela for almost a whole 2 weeks. Why my heart went into overdrive when anyone mentioned La Push. I was wearing a skirt for fucks sake. Swans don't do skirts unless they're trying. As reality dawned on me I didn't notice Jacob watching me intently. His face slowly recognising what he thought was rejection until it was too late. He walked away from me into the kitchen. It took me a few seconds to get out of my seat and notice he was gone. I walked into the kitchen as fast as I could without breaking into a run and looked at Jacobs thick body slumped against the worktop. He was staring out the window. Only I recognised that look, My Mom did it all the time. Jacob wasn't looking out the window, he was trying to push down his pain. I felt my heart pump faster as I realised I was hurting him with my ridiculously slow behaviour. I felt like Emmett, 4 fucking steps behind everyone else. I liked Jacob. A lot. It had just taken his words to make me realise that. I quietly walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Resting my head against the giant muscles under the skin of his back I felt him inhale, his breath catching slightly. I attempted to snuggle into his side. Wanting to feel his big arms around me. I wanted him to crush my body against his until I couldn't breathe. I needed to be that fucking close that I could taste his aftershave. I placed a light kiss on his back.

"You don't have to.. I mean. Don't try and make me feel better." His voice was flat. Emotionless. I guess that took some effort. I kissed him again.

"Jake. Look at me." He didn't turn. "Fucking look at me damnit!" I used his muscles like a spring boars and pushed myself off him. He turned slowly towards me. His eyes blank though I could sense the pain in them.

"Honestly Jacob. I didn't know until 5 minutes ago that I felt anything for you." He snorted. "No hear me out. It answers all my questions though Jacob. Why over the last month I have become this new person you've made me. This better person. I'm balanced when I'm around you Jake. You accept the crazy inappropriate comments and you don't force me to speak when I want to be quiet. You Jacob Black are perfect for me. You're amazing and gorgeous and you don't give a flying fuck. You make me forget just how fucked up my parents are simply with your smile. Not to mention you have awesome taste in cars..... I'm yours Jake. I'm yours."

I took a step towards him. My eyes now welling up with tears. I put myself out there. I didn't do that. I didn't admit my feelings. I just went with whatever people assumed.

"Take me." I whispered, the tears finally breaking through. I felt a strong pair of arms squeeze me tightly. My face was full of nipple. His giant body was crushing me to his. This is what I wanted. I just hadn't known it. My heart was about to swell and burst with how fucking happy I was right now.

He kissed my head and pulled my body back so he could look at me. I tried to swing my arms around his shoulders but I couldn't reach. He chuckled lightly and lifted me onto the kitchen table, bringing me that much closer to his face. He lifted each one of my arms and slung them around his neck, his hands then moving to my ribs. I kissed him. It wasn't a gentle, heart warming kiss. Neither was it a kiss that showed how we felt about each other. This was a hormone driven kiss. We were exploring each others mouths without shame. My hands moved down his back and I raked my nails across his shoulder blades. His hands had slipped up my shirt and he was pinching my nipples. Fucking good choice of day to run out of bras. I felt his fingers move towards the button of my skirt when my phone started to ring.

"Ignore it." I moaned against his mouth, my hands tugging his hair. It stopped ringing for literally a second before it starting again and blaring out that ridiculous song Emmett had provided me with.

"Ness I think.. I think it must be important." I ground my knee against his crotch as I reached for my cell. I didn't even look at the caller display.

"Hello?"

"Renesmee where are you?" His tone was urgent.

"Edward this is a really bad time can you call back later?" Jacobs tongue had found my navel.

"No. You need to get to Forks General now." I thought of all the reasons I might need to be at the hospital. All the people I loved. Anyone of them could be hurt. It didn't matter who it was, they all meant the same to me. In fact I didn't want to know. It wasn't real until I knew what happened. I fucking hope it's not something serious.

"5" I hung up the phone and grabbed all my stuff. I didn't need to explain to Jacob. He saw my expression and followed me right out the door, grabbing his shirt on the way.

By the time we got to the car I was crying too much to drive. Jacob kissed my forehead and took the keys from my hand. I curled up in the passenger seat. The faces of my family flashing before me. This was going to be the longest fucking five minutes of my life.


	15. Chapter 15

**EPOV**

I didn't remember how I got home that night. I didn't remember leaving Emmett's bar and I like to pretend I still don't remember how I got the little scar above my right eyebrow.

I did however know that I spent the whole morning hanging over my toilet seat. I honestly thought the last time I vommed from drinking was my 21st birthday.

I decided I'd spend the day in bed watching cheesy films, the lounge was too far away from a toilet for it to be an acceptable hanging area. I'd literally had my eyes closed for 10 seconds when my phone started playing some ridiculously lame tune with lyrics that could only be described as utter shite. I gave it a confused look. Who the hell would be ringing me at 11am on a Sunday.

"Morning Edward." Alice. Who else.

"Alice, care to tell me what exactly my ring tone is?" I attempted to sound frustrated with her but it was impossible Alice was surrounded by a big mass of good energy and everyone got sucked into it.

"Taylor Swift. That's not why I'm calling though. You need to get dressed" Who the fuck is Taylor Swift?

"Wait. Why are you giving me orders already Alice. It's a Sunday. Do you not take a day off like ever? And how do you know I'm not dressed already?" I was a grown man dammit. I was not going to take orders from a pixie.

"Because you phoned me at 3am and started crying because you couldn't find your left shoe." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, which had the all too familiar smell of tequila that had already been ingested once. "I'll pick you up in an hour." I was about to object when I heard the dial tone at the other end. Alice is possibly the most frustrating person I have ever met. Though I liked that she acted as if I never left. Like I never deserted any of them. Emmett was the same, he just welcomed me back with open arms and a bottle of Jose Cuervo. Rosalie was well, she would always be Rosalie. I pulled off my shirt about to get in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror.

My chest and arms were covered in bruises. I looked at my legs and noticed both kneecaps were gashed open. Then I remembered. I fought with Jasper last night. He kicked my ass.

I had been sitting at the bar talking to Emmett and swilling my scotch around in the glass. I watched as Jasper came towards me. He didn't show any emotion, his posture was relaxed and his face was just regular Jasper looking.

"Hey Jas, how's it going? Can I buy you a drink?" He suddenly looked furious and there was a searing pain in the side of my face. Emmett was restraining our friend and looking confused. Jasper wasn't a violent person and he rarely got angry.

"How fucking dare you!?" I got off the floor and motioned for Emmett to let go of Jasper. I wasn't going to have him restrained. He was a free man and I knew Jasper had to have a reason.

He flew at me but this time I was prepared. I grabbed his shoulders to stop myself from flying backwards and tensed my stomach as his fists made contact repeatedly. I wasn't expecting him to hook his legs around mine and bring us both crashing to the stone floor.

"Fuck. Jasper what's up?" I winced as the pain coursed through my knees. Why is it grazes only hurt for a little while when you're a kid but over the age of 10 they seem to be unbearable.

"You know what Edward!"He pulled himself upright and began kicking my side, not hard enough to break anything but I knew I would bruise. Jesus what had gotten into Jas.

"You left her! You broke her heart! I could never do that to Alice. You're fucked up. You have a fucking child and you left her and because of what!? You were scared cos she bashed her head. Oh grow up Edward! You fucking overreact about everything!"

He gave me enough time to stand up and started punching the wall. The whole bar was staring at us. Emmett was jumping up and down. Needing to be involved in the action but he knew as well as I did Jas just needed to let this out. He'd been harbouring it for 18 years. He was in fact the only one of my friends who didn't try to contact me when I left. I'd always thought it was because he understood or he just didn't want to get involved. Either way I was obviously wrong.

"Jas .. I.." I'd apologised to everyone. I know I deserved it. In this instance though, I knew this wasn't about Bella or Renesmee.

"Edward where the fuck where you?" I couldn't look at him and a lump formed in my throat. I guess I hadn't made all the apologies I should have.

"Why weren't you there to graduate with me Edward? Where were you the day my parents split up? Every time I needed you Edward you weren't fucking there. You weren't best man at my wedding though we had always sworn to each other that's the way it would be. You weren't at the hospital when my son was born. You know his middle name isn't Edward. It was going to be. But you fucking bailed. You bailed on your best friend. You're a massive fucking cunt Edward."

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Jasper was crying. I bailed on him. What happened to bro's before ho's. One more thing I royally fucked in the ass. I wiped my face realising I too was crying.

"I missed you too man." I pulled Jasper into a huge hug. It wasn't one of those one armed masculine hugs. We weren't secretly sizing each other up and determining who could take who. This was a comforting best friend hug.

I knew the moment Jasper reciprocated the hug that we were okay now.

"Emmett I think we need a drink." Jasper and I made our way to the bar, beaming in the glory of our reinstated friendship.

"Sorry ladies we don't serve Cosmopolitans."

I got out the shower and decided I would like to know where me shoe was after all and starting turning the house upside down. It wasn't outside, wasn't in the cupboard, nor the lounge. It wasn't in the fridge either though what made me think it might be I don't really know. I noticed the time on the microwave and dashed into the bedroom. Alice could be here any minute and I was running around my house looking for a shoe in my underwear. Correction looking for a shoe whilst wearing my underwear. Though the state I was in, it could very well be in my underwear.

I answered the door 2 minutes later in a pair of jeans and flannel shirt. I smiled when I saw Alice's angry expression as she stormed through my front door in full 'ticking off' mode.

"Edward Cullen. It took you exactly 78 seconds to answer the door and I was 2 minutes late because I found this.." She pulled a brown leather shoe out of her purse. ".. in Jaspers boxers this morning. Why weren't you ready enough to answer the door within 30 seconds? And more importantly why was your shoe trying to crawl inside my husbands ass hole?"

I smiled and gestured from the doorway to the lounge as if I was inviting her inside.

"Do come in Alice." I shook my head and closed the door and she chucked my shoe at me.

"Are you ready then?" She turned to face me, one hand holding a mug of coffee the other resting on her hip.

How did she make coffee in that time? Why did I not even register she was in my kitchen long enough to make coffee.

"Oh Edward I wish you wouldn't buy instant. It's like buying make-up from Target. Yuck." She grimaced though I think it was due more to the thought of make-up from Target than the coffee.

"Oh the horror." I made a big show of slapping my hands to my face and opening my mouth wide. She shook her head and walked out he door and into the passenger side of my car. I was still laughing when I slid into the drivers side.

"Alice do tell me how you plan on getting wherever were going if the driver doesn't know where exactly that is." I went to pull out of my driveway and Alice indicated we were turning left. I swear she had the biggest smile on her face as she squealed our destination.

"HOUSEHUNTING!!!!" Alice was jumping up and down in her seat and everything. I honestly tried to keep my eyes on the road but she was all over the place.

"Alice. Calm down. I really don't want to crash." The overexcited middle aged woman in my passenger seat ceased her excitement and instead settled for small boogying motions. "Better. And I know you have a lot of kids but God your house is huge and well why do I need to go?"

She shook her head and sighed in exasperation. "No silly. It's for you. You honestly can't think a man living with his parents who is the closer to 40 side of 35 is going to win Bella over?"

I wanted to protest, I really did but I ended up making goldfish faces, my mouth opening and closing repeatedly before sighing heavily as Alice turned up the stereo and sang at me. Fucking small people.

We spent most of the day looking at houses and apartments, how was I not aware of how many houses were for sale in Forks. I didn't care about any of them really but Alice kept finding imperfections and niggly bits she didn't like. All I cared was whether I could fit in a piano a fridge and a couch. I didn't need a bed if I had a couch.

When we finally got to the last house available for viewing I was exhausted. Alice's face lit up the second we pulled into the longest driveway in the world.

"Erm Alice. I don't think I need a house this big." I looked up at the giant house as I locked the car door.

"Shh Edward. I want to hear." I sighed and followed after Alice and the estate agent almost listening to the conversation they were having.

"... 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, the study is rather on the small side but .."

5 bedrooms? Really though. They started heading upstairs but I was drawn across the hallway to the only room with a door that wasn't wide open, Opening the door I realised it was the kitchen. I took in the mismatched cabinets. Some were cream, others a minty green and there was even a pale terracotta coloured one. The work surfaces were slate, in obvious need of a good sanding and the tiny crooked dining table in the corner looked as if it had a fight with the slate tops. I suddenly realised the estate agent was speaking behind me.

"..not supposed to be ... due to be refitted at the end of the week.." I was suddenly brought out of my uncaring daze.

"No." My head snapped up to glare at the overdressed woman. I could almost hear Alice fuming about her beige pant suit being frumpy and manly. I had spent far too much time with her today. "I'll take it. I don't care what the rest of the house is like. I need this kitchen. Call whoever decided this kitchen was to be destroyed and tell them they're out of their mind." The frumpy manwomans face lit up as she excused herself to retrieve the paperwork.

Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me to the far wall.

"Edward Cullen. Do you know how much this place is!? It was supposed to be a joke. What are you doing you idiot!?" She had the angriest whisper I had ever heard.

I simply beamed at her. "Alice. Tell me the second you walked into this kitchen you didn't smell freshly baked brownies and freesia." I was making my way around the kitchen opening and closing each cabinet, my face a picture of happiness. I must have looked like some kind of nut job.

"Edward. What are you on seriously? I'd like some." Alice looked concerned. Her hand was on her cell like she was going to call national security.

I gripped her shoulders and spun her around laughing to myself.

"Alice. Bella would love this kitchen. It's like her dream." She smiled gently in relief that I wasn't a madman. "Look at the stove! And that little space under that cabinet where she could hang her utensils. There's even room on this island for a chopping board surface." Alice spun around to face me before I got too carried away. She touched my cheek and grinned bigger than the Cheshire Cat.

"Oh Edward. You're serious. You're really honestly serious. You're actually going to stay. I mean I always thought .. well but now I'm so happy. It's all set in stone. Or slate kitchen tops if you will!"

I picked her up and swung her around. Both of us laughing.

I signed the paperwork quickly and arranged to pick the keys up the following day. Alice was talking at me about furniture and decoration for most of the way back to my parents house. I honestly was too happy to bother to tell her to shut up but I was more than glad when her cell started chirping. I had made a positive step towards Bella and I was revelling in thoughts of my new house when I was pulled back into reality by a tearful Alice with her hand on my shoulder.

"Edward. We need to get to the hospital now."

**A/N .. bwahahah you thought it was going to be the hospital scene. I'm mean I know but I like it that way. I hope you loved it. Let me know yes?**

**I have to thank every single person who reads this little story of mine. Seriously though. I would like to know your opinions ... Silence is not always golden. Lol.**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN- its short but its the turning point. **

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe it when I got the call. Sitting outside the room my eyes began to sting but I couldn't cry. I thought it would happen when I got the phonecall but there was just .. nothing. All I could think about was getting there fast. Charlie would not be impressed with my I was hurting. I was worried, scared. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be okay but he couldn't. My stomach was tying itself in knots and I wanted to throw up.

Jasper was first to arrive. He somehow knew I didn't need to be hugged or comforted. I just needed people there.

"How.. how is he?" I couldn't seem to look at Jasper. I couldn't say the words. I didn't want it to be true so instead I looked directly ahead and shook my head ever so slightly. I felt Jaspers hand on my shoulder and I rested my head on his hand. We remained silent until Alice arrived and pulled me into the biggest possible hug a small person can give. She was crying. I was jealous. I wish I could cry, I must look heartless. Then I felt worse for being jealous of someone else's grief. I was pathetic. Hearing footsteps rounding the corner I turned to see Edward slowly walking towards us. His head down. I should have yelled and shouted. Told him to get out, he didn't have a right to be here. I couldn't though. I didn't care enough. I was grateful though, grateful he was trying to support me. Our family. But there were bigger things at hand. Alice released me, giving me an apologetic glance. I looked to the floor and closed my eyes.

"I haven't ... forgot... could someone call Renesmee please?" I looked up to see Edward nodding before turning the corner. I had to give it to him, he was really trying.

"Bella I'm sorry.. he was .. I couldn't ... my car.." Alice was trying to apologise for Edward being there. I shook my head and waved it off. We sat in silence as Rosalie and Emmett arrived and silently took their seats alongside us. I had never seen Emmett look so distraught, his expression was crushing. I'd been secretly hoping he'd burst through the door and tell us it was all a joke. I wouldn't be angry, how could I, if Charlie was safe. Alice and Rosalie positioned themselves either side of me. Prepared for my breakdown but I knew it wouldn't come yet. It wasn't real. I was handed a cup of coffee but I couldn't drink it. My body would only have something to throw up.

"Miss Swan. You can go in now." A pretty young nurse rounded the corner holding a clipboard. Her face was sympathetic, sad almost. She must have known him. Who didn't.

Seeing him lying there I almost couldn't breathe. There were tubes all over the place, machines beeping. Keeping him alive. I'd seen him being wheeled in, but that was different. He still resembled Charlie then.

"Daddy?" My voice cracked from the tearless sobs that were now racking my body. I walked up to the bed and looked into his eyes. Only a tiny fraction of his usual sparkle was still there but his face lit up as much as it could the moment he saw me. His smile looked more like a grimace. He was in serious pain.

"Bells." His voice was rough, gritty. Like it was taking every ounce of energy he had to produce it. He tried to slide a hand toward me and winced at the obvious pain. I bit my lip. This was harder than I ever though it would have to be. I hadn't ever been really close to my father until Renesmee came along. I would never be able to thank him enough for everything he did for us.

He had a heart attack while on patrol. He had been cleaning his gun at the time and pulled the trigger on himself in the stomach accidentally, stomach acid was leaking inside of him. Killing him slowly. It wasn't fair.

"Don't leave me Daddy" I brushed a few hairs away form his forehead. He looked so .. vulnerable. Bandaged and drugged to an inch of his life.

"Oh Bells. I'll never leave you. I'll always be in here." He pointed towards my chest. My heart. I wiped at the tears that still wouldn't fall. "You need to take care of yourself Bells and Ness. She's going to be just like you. I know it. Perhaps a little more like her crazy Grandma." I chuckled humourlessly. "You need to forgive him Bella." I raised my eyebrows, more confused than ever. "I know I haven't exactly been fair to the boy but. You need him Bella and he needs you. I see that now. Take him back. Let him in."

"Dad I .." He slowly brought a finger to his lips signalling me to shush. Closing his eyes he rested his head against the pillow before whispering "I love you Bells. Be good."

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that. I was vaguely aware of the continous beeping sound of the machine next to me. Other than that everything was on mute. Mouths were moving and people were rushing around. My head was almost spinning as I watched the smile forming on my fathers face. Slowly though, he disappeared. Yes his body was still there but it wasn't Charlie anymore. He was gone. I heard someone screaming and I felt myself being pushed towards the door but I wouldn't budge. It wasn't until I saw them switching off the machines that I reacted. I dropped to the floor. My knees couldn't hold me up anymore. I realised then it was me screaming. The tears were falling now and I clutched at my shirt. I needed something to grasp onto. Something that wouldn't slip away the way Charlie did. A strong pair of arms picked me up and carried me from the room but my eyes wouldn't break away from the bed. My arms began to thrash against the chest of whoever was carrying me. I needed someone to blame. Someone to take it out on. The doors closed behind us, signalling the closure of my fathers life.

Shortly afterwards I lost the energy required to hit anymore. I couldn't make a noise. The tears just fell down my face as I felt myself being rocked gently. The familiar sweet homely scent of Edward filled my nostrils and I clung to him. He stroked my hair just allowing me to cry. I heard the voices of my friends around me and I felt a smaller warm pair of hands wrapping around my waist. My back was wet with tears and I reached around to pull Renesmee into me.

Mumbled voices made their excuses with the promise to see me tomorrow. I simply nodded hoping someone else was getting the information I would require when I was able to form coherent sentences. Edwards lips made contact with my hair and I immediately felt a little better. I leaned into him and closed my eyes.

I awoke in my bed, Renesmee clinging to my side. I felt bad for almost forgetting about her in my state. She was grieving too, she'd lost her Pops, he had looked after her like she was his own.

My face was stiff with the tears that had dried on my cheeks. My whole body ached as I reached out to stroke my daughters curly hair. I heard the door opening and seconds later the bed shifted on the other side of me. Edwards hands wrapped around my stomach. Holding me together. I was going to do as Charlie wanted. I was going to let him in. What choice did I have. I loved this man and I would never love another.

**AN- you really can't hate me as much as I hate myself right now. I love Charlie. That was hard!! Anyway let me know .... **


	17. Chapter 17

**AN – I'm glad I wasn't the only one who cried at the last chapter. That was horrible to write. Enjoy this one.**

**EPOV**

Fuck.

Fuck.

And fuck some fucking more.

I honestly didn't know what to say and I was normally so good with words. I knew at the hospital all Bella would need is to be held. I knew her too well, we were too alike for me not to know what she needed. I wanted to cry. Fuck, Charlie and I didn't get on but had I never dated his daughter I'm positive things would have been different. He and Carlisle were the best of friends before we left Forks. At the time I never thought anything of the fact he was always away on business on the same weekends Charlie was out fishing. It may seem bigheaded of me but I honestly don't believe Charlie ever wanted to hate me but I hurt his baby girl, it's part of fatherhood. I know if anyone hurt Renesmee I'd be kicking ass and taking names and I'd only known of her existance a few short months.

I spent half an hour pacing Bella's kitchen. Dreading the moment her and Renesmee woke. I didn't know how to fix this. It couldn't be fixed. There was nothing that I could say to take her pain away. Though I wouldn't think twice if I was offered the oppurtunity. I'd taking it and fucking run. I'd keep running even when my legs felt like they'd snap in half if I didn't stop. I slammed my fist against the cabinet in frustration. I fucking hated not being able to fix this. I was being an idiot. I needed to get myself together for their sake. I needed to be strong. I climbed back up the stairs, something inside telling me I was needed.

The second my foot made contact with the top step I heard shuffling coming from the direction of Bellas bedroom. I walked as slowly as possible towards the doorway, pausing once I got there, not wanting to freak her out. She'd been pretty much unconscious by the time we'd made it here. It hadn't felt wrong to undress her and dress her again in pyjamas. It wasn't at all sexual or perverted. It was a loving gesture. I knew she wouldn't sleep comfortably in her clothes. Bella was a creature of comfort. Sweats and mens shirts being her favourite comfort clothes. I'd been surprised when I pulled open her drawer of pyjamas. There was a stack of shirts I recognised. Pulling the first out a small smile had graced my lips. It was one of my old shirts. In fact it used to be her favourite. She'd refuse to wash it for weeks at a time, claiming it got comfier the dirtier it was. My heart swelled at the thought she had kept my stuff after everything I'd put her through. Perhaps it was selfish of me to dress her in it. A little sick maybe. It didn't phase me though, I knew Bella would appreciate the gesture. I decided that was more than enough procrastination for one day as I gently pushed on the door and walked into the room. Bella was wrapped around a sleeping Renesmee. The sight warmed my heart. No matter how much Bella was hurting. She understood her role as a mother. She didn't look up when I entered, nor when I removed my shoes and climbed in behind her, wrapping my arms tightly around her stomach. I nuzzled my head into her shoulder and she finally responded. One hand reached behind her and tickled the hair above my ear.

"Thankyou." She whispered. Her voice gritty and almost inaudible against the incredibly loud silence. I knew she didn't require a response. In fact it would more than likely make her uncomfortable so I opted to plant a light kiss on her shoulder instead. I felt her stiffen beneath me and began to panic. I hadn't considered whether or not she would be okay with that. Was it too much. She knew how I felt, but had made it more than clear she didn't feel the same way. I went to pull away from her. I'd messed up again. What she said next almost made my jaw drop wide open like in cartoons.

"I still love you." Again another barely audible whisper but I heard it. Her body stiffened against me. She was worried I'd changed my mind. Scared I didn't want her anymore.

I chuckled against her neck, placing another light kiss there. "I love you too Bella."

"Is it wrong to be so happy with everything that's happened?" She was still holding our daughter with one arm but used the other to thread her fingers through mine. Linking us together.

"I think he'd be happy." I didn't want to upset her by saying his name but she knew what I meant.

Bella twisted her body in my arms to face me, bringing her lips close to mine. Ghosting them with her own as she spoke. "I know he would." A single tear slipped down her cheek as our lips met. As she brought her hands to my face the bed shifted. I opened one eye to find a sleepy eyed Renesmee staring at us, a bright expression mismatching her dishevelled appearance.

"Sick. My parents are making out in the bed I'm sleeping in." She rubbed her eyes before nudging me playfully. "Get off my Mom you pervert."

Bella turned around shooting Nessie an evil look before kissing me again. This time throwing a hundred times more passion in. Her hands fisted in my hair and she pulled her body flush against mine. I couldn't stifle a laugh as I heard Rensmee jump out of bed and run down the hall to her room.

"Fucking aren't allowed to do shit like that!" Bella pulled away and winked at me before throwing her legs out the side of the bed.

"I hope you're making breakfast Cullen I'm starving." In that moment Bella was Bella again. She wasn't healed but she sure wasn't going to show her pain anymore in true Bella style.

Alice arrived several hours later with 6 tubs of Cookie Dough ice cream. She handed one to Nessie, giving her a sad smile and a comforting rub on the back. Put 3 in the freezer and grabbed 2 spoons and turned for the stairs. I raised an eyebrow at her questioningly and she pointed her spoon at me.

"Don't question my methods Cullen. I don't question yours."

I opened my mouth to inform her that yes in fact she does question my methods but she was gone. I shook my head.

"You'd understand if you had a vagina." Renesmee said her statement as casually as Jenna Jameson would take off her clothes. Somehow she'd managed to devour a quarter of a tub already and was plunging her spoon in for another mouthful.

I sighed "Tell me did you spend a lot of your childhood with Emmett and Rosalie or does your mother have a secret crude side."

Nessie shrugged her shoulders before nodding, presumably at the first option. I laughed through my nose and put a pot of coffee on.

"So do I have to call you Daddy now or what?"

I paused. Slightly shocked by her outwardness. Really I should expect it by now, what with the bastard granddaughter comment to my parents.

"Umm.. I... Err.. You know ... I... I'm easy." I was at a loss for words again.

"I know that. It's why I'm here." I rolled my eyes and shook my head disapprovingly. Despite her strange sense of social acceptability in conversation she had a way of just relieving tension with a sentence. I suddenly felt as if I didn't need to answer her question. It was irrelevant, she'd call me what she wanted to. The doorbell rang and we looked at each other confused. No one else had made arrangements to drop by this afternoon. Everyone else was coming for pizza and trashy films tonight, while my parents babysat.

I opened the door to be met by an unusually large copper skinned manboy. He looked a little confused by my presense at first and I could practically hear the cogs turning in his head before the little lightbulb went off in his head.

"Yo. You must be the sperm provider. I'm Jacob Black." He held a hand out to me which I did not take. I wasn't sure I liked this kid.

"And you Jacob Black must be...."

"He's my bitch." I heard Nessie shout from the kitchen and the oddly muscular child ducked under my arm and walked straight in.

I mumbled under my breath something about coming in and making himself at home. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when I walked into the kitchen to find him sucking face with my daughter. I cleared my throat and sat back in the stool opposite Renesmee. His eyes opened and I could see the lust in them quite obviously. I wanted to rearrange the overgrown steroid freaks face. I had to remind myself I was in fact nearing 40 and I should probably grow up a little bit but when his hand slid around to grope her ass I nearly lost it.

"So Jacob what do you ... do?" My tone wasn't exactly friendly. I should have been embarressed of myself. I was behaving like a child.

"I'm inbetween jobs at the moment. College wasn't my thing you know. I'm actually looking at being a mechanic at the moment." He seemed so proud of himself. The moment he said mechanic his eyes lit up and his face became animated.

In what I wouldn't call one of my finest moments I snorted. I Edward Cullen actually snorted at a teenage boy. Renesmees face was rife with disappointment and I didn't blame her.

She raised her eyebrows and ran her hands through her hair. Before taking Jacobs face between her hands and kissing him passionately. It was revolting, I could actually hear their tongues slapping together. I slammed my hands against the cabinet for the second time today and stormed out of the room. Why was I such a child today.

"Bella!" I called out as I stomped up each step towards her bedroom. "Bella!"

I heard giggling and burst into her bedroom to be met by her and Alice, empty ice cream tubs and Bella with her index fingers held about 9 inches apart.

"Bella!" They turned to me, Alice trying to hold back her giggles and Bella turning a deep shade of crimson. I really didn't want to know what they were talking about. I was flustered with my own anger.

"Do you realise your daughter is downstairs sucking face with a long haired hooligan. I mean he's gotta be on steroids or something! He's bigger than Emmett." I could feel myself getting angrier as I tried to explain myself. I paced on the spot. "Seriously though, his dream is to be a mechanic. A fucking mechanic! Not a doctor or a lawyer or anything sensible!"

Alice shot me a disappointed look before leaving the room and heading downstairs. Bella sighed and got off the bed to stand in front of me.

"Firstly. You write jingles, you have no right to judge. Secondly, Renesmee can date who she wants, social status and annual income don't really affect her choices." I began to feel very very embarressed of myself. "You should also know that Jacob doesn't have the resources to go to college and be a doctor or a lawyer even if he wanted to. Don't get me wrong he's got the brains to go with all that brawn but his Mom died before he really knew her and his Dad is disabled. He's a good kid Edward. Leave him alone." Bella hadn't raised her voice, she didn't even sound angry. So why did I feel like I'd just had a telling off.

"I.. I .. oh fuck." I ran my hands through my hair and pinched the bridge of my nose. A small pair of hands wrapped around my waist and I felt Bellas head rest on my chest.

"They'll forgive you. Forget it. You didn't know." I sighed and dropped my chin gently onto the top of her head. "Besides, you're cute when you're being angry Daddy." She kissed my chest and stroked my back lovingly. This wasn't right. I was supposed to be comforting her not the other way around.

"Bella. Are you going to be okay?" Bella paused for a moment, considering her answer. Either that or I'd upset her again.

"I think so. Charlie would want me to be happy. He'd want me to be happy with you."

I felt her smile against me as she said the last part. She'd been consumed by her grief for a while but it seemed it had spat her out and told her to pull herself together. She was healing. Well.

Bella was truly a remarkable woman.

**AN I hope you liked that one. I promise you'll get some lemons soon. Please let me know what you think. It makes my day to have a full inbox.**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN- I'm sorry I made you wait so long. Work has been well and truly kicking my arse!! This was a hard one to write. Enjoy it.**

RPOV

I could feel my grip tightening on Jakes arm, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the aisle long enough to loosen up a bit. I felt his body shift in the seat next to me and a warm pair of lips grazed the top of my head. I relaxed a little from his contact and released his bicep. I saw the door open at the back of the church and inhaled sharply. Jacob threw his arm over my shoulder protectively and began to softly draw little circles on my shoulder.

I knew what was coming as Edward stepped through the door slowly, holding it open. I choked on a sob as I watched my Mom follow behind him. Her big black sunglasses didn't hide the fact she was crying uncontrollably. I watched as Edward whispered something in her ear, he clung tightly to his shirt as he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on top of hers. Even he looked as if he'd been crying. Mom nodded her head reluctantly before Edward took her hand in his and they walked up the aisle towards us. I tried not to make eye contact with either of them as I looked around me at the sad faces of all the people here today. Rosalie's shoulders were shaking as her and Alice clung onto each other tightly. The big black veil on Alice's hat hid her face but I could tell from the difficulty she was having holding herself upright that she was having a hard time too. Billy Black, Jacob's father was seated a few rows behind us with Sue Clearwater and her children Leah and Seth all of whom seemed to be trying to stay strong. I scooted along noticing Edward at the end of our pew. He flashed me a sad smile before sliding in next to me and pulling my Mom onto his lap.

I looked up into her face, I could see her big brown eyes beneath her sunglasses boring into mine.

"I love you Ness." her hand stroked my cheek as she whispered to me. I closed my eyes as the tears silently streamed out of my eyes.

I heard the opening lines of One More Day by Diamond Rio begin to play and I tried to stop my lip from quivering. I chose that song. Charlie loved Diamond Rio, listened to him in the patrol car every day.

My heart felt as if a huge chunk of it was ripping off as I watched as Emmett and Jasper slowly carrying Charlie's casket to the front of the church. They took their seats and I watched as Sue wheeled Billy toward the casket.

The music finished and Billy cleared his throat.

"Charlie was my best friend." He stroked a hand across the top of the casket and looked at my Mom, who gave him an encouraging smile.

"He was a fantastic father to Bella and and even better grandfather to Renesmee." I buried my face into Jacobs shoulder.

"I remember the day Jacob was born" He seemed to choke on his words. "Charlie took him in his arms and said 'Boy, it's a good job you look like your Mama cos cosmetic surgery is expensive"

There were a few chuckles and I felt Jacobs arms tighten around me.

Billy turned to the casket and sighed.

"I'm gonna miss you friend, more than you know. But I know deep down you're happy at that great big lake in the sky. Save some for me Charlie or I'll kick your ass." Sue patted Billy on the shoulder gently before wheeling him back to his seat.

I took my Moms hand and squeezed it. This was the hardest thing she would ever have to do. I watched as her and Edward seemed to have a silent exchange. He nodded and kissed her nose before she slid out of the pew and to the front of the church.

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes before looking up at me. I gave her a thumbs up and the biggest smile I could manage at the time.

"First of all I'd like to thank everyone for coming here today." She looked up at the ceiling and wiped her eyes again.

"I've been dreading today for the last week. It's harder than I thought to stand up here and talk to a room full of people you love." She paused to wipe her eyes again.

"How do you come to terms with the loss of your father?" It was painful to watch my Mom overcome with grief. Tears were streaming down her face and her body was shaking. "How.. How.. How do you move forward despite your aching.. h ... heart... I'm sorry I c.. ..cc.." Silent sobs were quickly becoming full blown wails, I was about to jump out of my seat and run to her but Edward got there first. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head and whispering in her ear. After a few minutes of this Mom stood in front of the microphone once more, Edward's arms wrapped around her from behind and his chin on top of her head.

"Charlie was a good man...." She looked up at Edward and he nodded at her in reassurance. His fingers wrapped hers tightly in his own.

"I made more than my fair share of mistakes when I was younger..." I felt Jacobs arms wrap around me impossibly tighter.

"But Charlie always understood. He always supported me and Nessie and wanted the best for us both. He was a fantastic father..... Charlie loved his job and he was good at it. There were times he'd get so caught up in his work that he'd forget to go home. I just think the stubborn old fool wanted to live there so he'd never get behind."

She looked at the casket and wiped her eyes.

"Daddy, I love you, I won't forget you. Goodbye."

Edward pulled gently on her hand and they started walking back towards us. As soon as they sat down Jacob released me and I curled up into my Moms side. She stroked my hair as we cried together.

Some of the guys from the station said their goodbyes and Emmett got up to arrange the slide show.

He cleared his throat and fiddled with the controls on the back of the projector.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Charlie Swan."

Somebody flicked the lights off and my eyes were drawn to the screen. Charlie Chaplins Smile began to play as pictures of Charlie appeared on screen.

The first was a very young Charlie on his first day at the station. He was beaming. It flicked through several of Charlie and Grandma, their wedding day. Pop's holding Mom when she was only a couple hours old. I don't think I've ever seen anyone look that proud before. Pop's was glowing. I couldn't control the tears as the slide moved through to pictures of Billy and Charlie fishing, pictures of Mom and Edward with Charlie in the background polishing his gun, Charlie and Alice in a yellow porsche, Charlie holding me after I was born, Charlie, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper at the beach with me when I was 2. Charlie, Emmett and Jasper standing proudly under the tree house they built in the backyard. Rosalie sticking out from under Charlies truck while he read a newspaper in the front seat. Mom, Charlie and me on my first day of school. Everyone at Christmas, Charlie and the guys from the station. Phoebe putting make-up on Charlie when he fell asleep on the couch. The last picture was my favourite though. It was from last Thanksgiving. Everyone was there. Charlie, Mom, Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett and all the kids. Everybody started to file out after the slide show finished but I just sat there staring at that last picture. Charlie had his arms wrapped around me and Mom and we were kissing his cheeks. He looked so happy. Everyone looked happy. I wiped my tears and stood up, still staring at the screen. I took a deep breath and smiled.

"Catch ya later Pops. Say hi to Grandma for me." I turned to Mom, Edward and Jake.

"What are we waiting for we've got people to feed, Charlie wouldn't want us to keep people waiting!" My Mom smiled at me as Edward squeezed my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. I swear I heard him mumble "So much like your Mom" I turned to Jacob who hoisted me onto his back. I screamed as we ran out the doors. The sun was shining brighter than I'd ever seen it shine in Forks. I threw my arms out and span myself around. Somehow I knew it had something to do with Charlie, a message to be happy and that's exactly how I planned to be. I wrapped my arms around Jacob as he lifted me up so I could reach his lips.

"I love you." I whispered before crashing my lips to his. He pulled my face away to look at me.

Screwing his face up as if he was analysing my face he said "Ah you'll do." I laughed as I smacked him playfully. "I love you too Nessie."

**AN – ohhhh mannnnnn. I cried. Did you?**

**Let me know what you think and make my day by pressing that magic button over there!**


End file.
